The necessity of forgiveness # 1: 1 Corinthians love

I've met a lot of people with estrangements in their family, a relative they haven't spoken to for years. Some almost seem proud of it. And I'm no stranger to having that kind of situation. My parents divorced when I was a toddler and since he remarried, I've hardly seen my Dad despite him living a short drive away. It's a situation with a lot of hurt. But time and again, when I've been tempted to stop bothering to send cards for birthdays and Christmas or other occasions, when I've been tempted to be indifferent and stop caring, God has done something to show me that I have to keep loving, and keep forgiving.

For many years I have prayed about being able to forgive my Dad. And there's times when I feel it's fine; I do forgive him. But there's also times when the deep, deep hurt is dragged up again. It still makes me cry. And I think, have I really forgiven? I have to keep taking it back to God, to my heavenly Father, again and again.

I was struck by an article on Revive our Hearts today about this very issue. The speaker had a similarly estranged relationship with her father. He didn't ask her for forgiveness, but she knew she had to forgive him anyway. She mentioned 1 Corinthians 13: love 'keeps no record of wrongs... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.' (NIV) In the ESV it says 'Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.' (v7) To show the kind of love God has shown us towards others will require this kind of faith and perseverance, even with people who have deeply hurt us and are difficult to love. Whenever I think I may as well give up on my relationship with my Dad, this verse encourages me to keep going, to keep loving, because this will glorify my heavenly Father. As Ney Bailey says, 'we're most like Christ when we're forgiving.'

Ultimately I have to get the right perspective. Too often I feel it is my 'right' to have a certain kind of earthly father; the reality is that I have a heavenly One who is perfect. No one has a perfect earthly dad. And I have been very blessed in that my step-dad has always been a father to me; his family have always loved me and accepted me; God has more than compensated for this one breached relationship in my family by providing me with so many other loving people in my life. And I have to have faith when I pray for my Dad that God can still save him and still restore our relationship; He is the God of reconciliation.

Journey to Justice Part 2: Enlarge my heart

There seems to be a tacit agreement that our hearts have a limited capacity to love and care for others. When disasters strike, we watch a few harrowing images and then turn off the news. We think that we've seen enough, that our hearts can't take any more. It would be unreasonable to keep on feeling emotion for all those who are suffering.

But the Bible gives us no get-out clauses for sharing God's heart for justice, and loving others as He loves:

'The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.' (Psalm 145:8-9)

'The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.' (Proverbs 29:7)

“Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other.” (Zechariah 7:9-10)

'Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.' (Colossians 3:12)

'This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister. For this is the message you heard from the beginning: we should love one another... This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.' (1 John 3:10-18)

There are no limits on God's love; how, then, can we place limits on our own love for others? If we are searching within our own hearts for a selfless, sacrificial love for others, we won't find it. But if we ask God to give us His heart, ours will overflow with grace and compassion.

Yes, there is loads of messed-up stuff in this world. Yes, it seems overwhelming. But we can't hide our heads under the Christian duvet and just wait for Jesus to come back with our fingers in our ears. We have to hear the cry of the poor and needy; we have to respond. We have to love in deeds and action, not just with words and grand sentiment. It's tough. It's so hard to avoid hypocrisy. But if we give up, we've lost sight of God's heart and that's a terrible, scary place to be - even more terrible and scary than facing the truth about the sin and brokenness in our world, and the Saviour who is the only One who can heal it.

What does John teach about combatting heresy in 1 John?

It seems clear that John wrote his first epistle specifically to counter various forms of Gnostic heresy which had infiltrated the church. Gnostics believed that the spirit was good, but matter was evil, and denied the Incarnation of Christ as God made flesh. More extreme forms of Gnosticism such as Docetism suggested that Jesus was a phantom and only appeared to have a body. John emphasises in his letter the historical coming of Christ: 'which we looked upon and touched with our hands' (1 Jn 1:2); 'Jesus Christ has come in the flesh' (1 Jn 4:2).

Similarly to his gospel, John writes about polar divisions of light and darkness, truth and error, children of God and children of the devil in his letter. The false teachers seemed to have claimed a higher revelation and spirituality through their 'superior' understanding, and John is keen to stress that all men are spiritually blind and dependent on God's revelation of Himself to them in Christ. Either a person rejects Christ, and thus is in spiritual darkness, or believes in His Name. Anyone who believes in Him is in the light and there is no sense of a hierarchy of spiritual experience. Instead, John emphasises the benefits that all people receive when they believe in Jesus: they have eternal life and become children of God, with His Spirit's anointing: 'He has given us of His Spirit' (1 Jn 4:13).

As Stott points out, 1 John is marked with certainty. Believers can be certain of having eternal life, by testing themselves on whether they believe in the truth of Christ and whether they love one another. Ultimately the assurance of our salvation rests in the fact that Jesus Christ is the propitiation for our sins, which John mentions twice in his letter. God took the initiative to offer His Son as a sacrifice for our sins, and the Son willingly offered Himself: 'we have an advocate... He is the propitiation for our sins' (1 Jn 2:1-2).

David Jackman suggests that the false prophets had separated themselves from the main body of believers on their claim to a special 'anointing' of the Holy Spirit, by which they had been given true knowledge of God. John therefore emphasises and defines what a true knowledge of God really is, and the point he makes repeatedly is that true knowledge of God is shown in loving your brothers. The false teachers did not regard their unwillingness to value and love other Christians as sin; John shows them how they have completely missed the point of God's commandment: 'that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as He has commanded us' (1 Jn 3:23). The singular form of 'commandment' is used, and yet two things are included: believing in Christ and loving one another. This shows just how inseparable these aspects are from true faith. 'Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.' (1 Jn 4:8)

John finishes his letter with a brief summary of all the assurances of the believer. Repeating the phrase 'we know', he emphasises that 'you may know that you have eternal life' (1 Jn 5:13), 'we know that he hears us in whatever we ask' (1 Jn 5:15), 'We know that everyone who has been born of God does not keep on sinning' (1 Jn 5:18) and 'We know that we are from God' (1 Jn 5:19). This culminates in his great statement: 'we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.' (1 Jn 5:20) For John, combatting heresy is about rejoicing in the truth: Christians have a unique privileged status before God in Christ, and a unique privileged certainty that they have salvation through His blood ('your sins are forgiven for his name’s sake', 1 Jn 2:12). As long as we consciously seek to obey His commands, we have no reason to doubt His love towards us and the reality of our salvation: 'if we walk in the light... we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.' (1 Jn 1:7)

Seeking Spiritual Experiences

In our Church Bible study last night, we looked at Revelation 1 where John is 'in the Spirit' and sees the Lord Jesus Christ in glory. He receives a message for the church, given by an angel, from Jesus and ultimately from God the Father. Someone pointed out that John was probably doing hard labour each day as part of the penal colony on Patmos. It wasn't perhaps the place where you would expect such a revelation to occur. We thought then about Paul and Silas in prison, and the whole place shaking with the power of God (Acts 16). The point was, that you can experience God anywhere and in any circumstances.

It made me think about the tendency towards pilgrimage in Christianity as well as other religions. Last week we were on holiday and went to St David's in West Wales, where there is a cathedral and many stories of Saint David (apparently when he was baptised there was a great light). People go to these places because they want a spiritual experience.

We could also think about Elijah- after the great victory over Baal at Mt Carmel (1 Kings 18), Jezebel sought his life and he fled to Horeb, that great mountain where Moses had experienced God. God appeared and asked 'Why are you here, Elijah?' In His grace, God revealed Himself again (and not in the great wind, but in the still, small voice), but the point remained that Elijah shouldn't have been afraid and run there seeking a spiritual experience. He should have trusted in God.

Jesus appears to John in Revelation to give seven letters, one for each of the seven churches referred to in Chapter 1. And the letters seem to warn the churches not to get caught up in 'being spiritual', but to seek more of Jesus. The church at Ephesus is told not to lose their 'first love' (Rev 2:4). It doesn't matter how many good deeds we do, or how hard we work- if we do not do them out of love for Christ, they are worthless (see also 1 Cor 13, where Paul suggests that even martyrdom itself is worthless if I have not love).

It can be tempting, then, to seek after a spiritual experience of God- perhaps at a certain church, or a certain type of meeting, or on a mountain top, or amongst certain people. But the Bible tells us that God is with us wherever we go, and we just need to seek Him. If Jesus' walk on earth took Him from the affirmation of God at His baptism to the loneliness of the wilderness and temptation, and from the shining beauty of His transfiguration to the rejection of the cross, we cannot expect every day to be a Mount Carmel. But if we learn obedience in the tough places, our joy will abound even more. (Rom 5:1-11)

Why is church important? #1

I'm reading Joshua Harris' book 'Stop Dating the Church' at the moment and it is incredibly helpful at explaining why it is so important for Christians to be committed members of a local church. These blog posts are really a collection of what Harris argues and my own thinking about it.

How is church like marriage?

This is one of the big questions Harris seeks to answer. In the Bible, Paul famously compares the relationship of a married couple to the relationship of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5). So what is the link between the church and marriage? Well, most Christians would agree that marriage is all about loving, faithful commitment. That's exactly the way Jesus treats the church... and therefore the way that we should treat it, too.

Harris says:
'The plain fact is, when we resist passion and commitment in our relationship with the church, everyone gets cheated out of God's best.

• You cheat yourself.
• You cheat a church community.
• You cheat your world.' p18

And again:
'The church is the vehicle that Jesus chose to take the message of the gospel to every generation and people.' p20

If we want to follow Jesus' command to go and make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28), we will struggle unless we are part of a church community. It's what the church is for: bringing together saved sinners to reach out to lost people. We're so much more effective together than individually. Just think about it: imagine you have one non-Christian friend called James. Now if you are the only Christian James knows, that means a lot of pressure on you to keep witnessing to him! And if you move away, he then knows no Christians in his area. But if you introduce James to some of your Christian friends from church, he can build relationships with them too, you can all witness and pray for him together, and if you move away, he still has links with a church and the people of God.

Church isn't an easy place. It is a place where sinners -saved and unsaved- gather together, and that's always going to be tough. But it is an ideal place for Christians to grow in godliness, as they hear the Bible faithfully taught... and as they are thrown into situations where they need to put into practice Jesus' teachings about loving your enemies, forgiving those who hurt you, and being humble and serving to one another. You see, every Christian could make three Christian friends and simply meet up with those friends regularly and get their spiritual 'fix' to keep them going... But in doing so, they would miss out hugely on the 'family factor' of church- being put into a room with loads of different people of all ages and backgrounds, where you don't have anything in common except Jesus, and you have to get along!

So to summarise:

• Church is like marriage- it demands commitment
• Church is a locus point for evangelism- in both training up and reaching out
• Church is tough- and so it refines us

Helping people to find Jesus

It could be your best friend. It could be your spouse. It could be your Mum or Dad.

Most Christians know at least one person, whom they love very much, who doesn't know Jesus.

How do we reach out to them? How do we help them to come to know who Jesus is and what He has done for them? How can we make sure that they're going to be in heaven too?

1. Remember it's God who saves.
Whenever someone becomes a Christian, it is a miracle. It may not always happen as dramatically as Saul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), but it is always a work of God's Holy Spirit: to convict people that they're going in the wrong direction and that they need to turn and go God's way. That's what happens when someone becomes a Christian. They turn away from sin and from ruling their own life, and they turn to God and ask Him to be Lord of their heart. On the ground level, it may seem like we're making the decision. But actually, it's God who enables us to make that decision. 'This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.' 1 John 4:10 The reality is that we're way too depraved and sinful to muster up love for God completely of our own accord. It comes from Him!

This means that we shouldn't get too hung up on thinking up amazing arguments to convince people why they should believe in Jesus. Yes, it's important to be able to answer people's questions, but ultimately you cannot talk someone into believing. It has to be a step of faith they take from God's Spirit working in them.

2. Pray!
If it's God's Spirit who does the work, we should pray for certain individuals we know. And it's great to pray specific prayers, because specific prayers bring specific answers. If we just pray 'Lord please save Joe', that is a valid prayer but we may never see the answer in our lifetime (Note- George Muller prayed for 5 friends every day of his life. They all became Christians- but some after he had died!). But if we pray 'Lord please give me an opportunity to talk about You to Joe at lunch today', we are more likely to see an obvious answer to prayer, which fills us with hope and joy and fuels our further praying and witness.

Use Scripture to help you pray, such as Acts 26:18 'to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in [Jesus].' Keep persevering, because God is 'not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.' (2 Peter 3:9)

3. Be bold!
Time and again I'm struck, when reading Acts, of the boldness of the apostles. They went into religious places and secular meeting points, they adapted the way of preaching their message but never altered the truth of the gospel, and they saw God's blessing on their work. They weren't always successful in human terms -sometimes the gospel was rejected and so were they- but they were obedient to Jesus' commission to them to 'go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.' (Matthew 28:19-20)

We too need to take seriously the urgency of Jesus' command to be disciple-makers. That involves telling people the gospel, living the gospel out in our own lives, and being intimately involved with others to show them how to live in the way that God wants. In her book 'Out of the Saltshaker', Rebecca Manly-Pippert makes some great points about how we don't have to change our personalities or take a hit-and-run approach to sharing the gospel, but instead we need to develop meaningful relationships with non-Christians and take every opportunity we have to explain why they need Jesus.

And it is a need. We need to remind ourselves of the destination of those who reject God: hell. 'If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.' (Revelation 20:15) It's a sobering thought. Your friends and family are not going to thank you in eternity for failing to tell them the truth.

4. Be prepared!
You need to know the gospel in order to explain it to others. There are some really helpful ready-made simplified explanations of the gospel, such as 'Two Ways to Live' www.matthiasmedia.com.au/2wtl/, or you can use five coloured squares of card to explain the different stages of the Bible's story:
Green- Creation
Black- Sin and death enter the world
Red- Jesus blood was shed so we could be forgiven
White- If we believe we are cleansed from sin
Gold- We have a future in heaven with God forever.

Think about how to simply explain your own story of how you became a Christian. Testimonies are often really effective to show how the gospel has power in people's lives today.

It also really helps to read books or websites with answers to common questions people have, such as 'Why does God allow suffering'? UCCF's www.bethinking.org/ is great for this, as well as the book 'If You Could Ask God One Question' (see http://www.christianityexplored.org/resources/books/cxpq/).

5. Be clear!
I'm really conscious of the fact that I've used loads of Christian jargon words in this blog-post, like 'sin' and 'gospel'. Argh it's so hard to 'talk Christian' without using these words which, to the majority of the population, mean very little -or worse, they mean something different. Just be aware when you're talking to people that when you say 'sin', they're probably thinking 'breaking rules' rather than 'living your own way, not God's way'. When you say 'faith', they may be thinking Buddhist-style believe-whatever-you-want-to-believe faith, rather than believing in Jesus and trusting in Him. Try to explain things as simply as possible, using things from our culture to help. In Acts 17 Paul did exactly that- he used a altar to an 'unknown God' and a poem to explain to the people of Athens who the real God was. If we read the papers and keep aware of what's going on in the media, we will find ways of engaging with people and helping them to understand why Jesus is relevant to their lives.

6. Genuinely love people.
Don't make people projects. They are individuals beloved by God. Treat them with respect and don't force yourself upon them. Give them space to think and respond and space to say 'not now' or to walk away from God. You have to accept that God works in His time, not yours, and you jumping up and down and screaming isn't going to help. You being there and listening and caring WILL help.

If churches welcome non-believers into the community, that is a huge witness and a big draw for people in our culture which is very individualistic and very lonely. People want to be loved and people want intimacy- that's why we love snooping at celebrities. The church should be the one place in this world of selfishness where people are loved for who they are, and not for what they can give.


I could go on and on but I'll end with encouraging you to keep going, keep praying, keep hoping, and keep praising God, for He is very very gracious and good.

Psalms 6-7: Turning to God in a crisis

Lessons from David- Psalms 6-7

Even in his darkest moments of gut-wrenching sorrow (6-7) David turns to God and asks for mercy and healing (2). He does this because he trusts in God's unfailing love (4), and affirms his belief at the end that God will answer his prayer.

In Ps 7, a more detailed picture is given of God- showing us why David (and we) should trust Him. God is someone to take refuge in, because He can save and deliver us from deadly foes (1-2). God is a God of justice (6), who is righteous and searches minds and hearts, to bring an end to the violence of the wicked and make the righteous secure (9).

He saves the upright in heart (10). We should echo David in saying:
'I will give thanks to the Lord because of His righteousness and will sing praise to the Name of the Lord Most High.' (17)

How can I change my feelings?

I've been posting recently about relationships. I know this is a really tough area of life for many Christians (I certainly found it so, before I got married). I thought I'd use this post to deal with the whole issue of Christians falling in love with non-Christians. I know what it's like, because I've done it myself, but the way I dealt with it was pretty rubbish. I'd love to encourage you not to make the same mistakes.

So, the situation could be that you're a Christian, you're at school or at work, surrounded by non-Christians. At your church, there's a lack of people your own age of the opposite sex. In your daily environment, you're developing friendships with people naturally, through spending time with them, and gradually you notice yourself feeling something more than friendship for one of the guys/girls you know.

What do you do?

Well in practice there's several options:
1. You let things develop and you go out with this person.
2. You sit on the fence, telling the person that you can't go out with them, but you don't make any effort to avoid them or end the friendship. Things kind of hang around in the air uncomfortably- and something might happen.
3. You back off.

What are the consequences of these various courses of action?
With (1), you could end up marrying them, or break up with them. Neither of these options are very desirable. With marrying them, you might have 'followed your heart' but you won't have treasured Christ above the relationship. Your faith will probably suffer. By breaking up with them, it'll probably be really difficult and you'll both feel hurt and unhappy. During the relationship, you could also have made mistakes and gone too far. That's an added pain.

With (2), your witness as a Christian is not going to be that of a shining star (see Philippians 2:15). You run the risk of being flirtatious and leading someone on, which is cruel and unfair, and also of something happening unexpectedly due to the build-up of tension. If you've decided not to go out with someone, you need to make it clear by following through with your conduct... and this involves backing off.

With (3), it's definitely not going to be easy. You have to go against your feelings, and there may be some awkwardness with friendship groups and where you hang out etc. But (3) is the best option if you want to put Jesus first. (3) is the only option which makes it clear to the other person that you've made a decision that you're going to stick by. (3) is the only option in which people can see that Jesus means more to you than anything else... even your feelings. (3) is an option where God will be faithful, and help you through the pain and difficulty, because you're doing it to honour Him.

If you do choose (3), I strongly recommend that you get someone on board to help you. Find a trustworthy person at church, tell them about the situation, and ask them to pray for you. With their help and encouragement, you can get through it.

And believe it or not, you will find that your feelings follow your decision. It may take a while, but this is not the only area of life in which you shouldn't let your feelings dictate your actions. The Christian life is not based around feelings! It's about BEING something... being saved by grace... being loved by God. Our feelings take a while to catch up with those realities.