Some thoughts on Titus 2 - priorities

'Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.' Titus 2:3-5

I've been working through Carolyn Mahaney's 'Feminine Appeal' and the series 'God's beautiful design for women' on Revive our Hearts, because I've been feeling really convicted lately that I haven't got my priorities right. Having just had a new baby, it's a good time to re-evaluate where I am in my life, and whether I am doing the things God has called me to do, or getting distracted with other things that don't really matter.

You can't ignore from these verses in Titus that, as women, our priorities have to be focused around loving God and loving our families. Home has to be a priority, whether we work outside of it or not. I've been struck by some of this teaching that the home was created by God, and in society today the home is falling apart. It's because we've got our priorities wrong and we've believed the lie that we need a successful career and a good salary to be fulfilled. Our culture tells us that being in the home is not as valuable as making a financial contribution to the family outside of it, so too often we are sacrificing our family life in favour of earning more money. I'm not saying all women should be stay-at-home mums with no outside jobs because I really enjoy my job! But I do think it's easy for my job to take the first and best of me, and my home and family to get whatever is left over of my time and energy.

It's not about making our homes an idol, a beautiful magazine-type place #CathKidston etc. We want to make our homes somewhere we belong, somewhere orderly, a place we want to return to, a space where we talk and grow together as a family, a place which draws in those that we love and outsiders to know and love God better. This can only happen through the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. The gospel has transformed our lives, and as we seek to obey God by doing the things we are told to do in Titus 2 (love our husband and children, be self-controlled, pure and kind, working at home and being submissive to our husband), this shows the world how amazing the gospel is.

The heart attitude with which we serve -doing chores, cooking meals, cleaning and so on- is absolutely crucial, because we are called to be kind. This passage in Titus calls us to be selfless women, Christ-centred and other-person-centred, like Dorcas in Acts 9. Kindness of heart will not make menial tasks glamorous, but it will lift the load and make them an act of real love and worship.

The emphasis in Titus on self control shows the importance of having a sound mind too. We can't do any of these things without disciplining our minds to put the brakes on to unsound thinking and behaviour. Nancy Leigh de Moss's portraits of a sophron woman (sound) and non-sophron woman are really convicting. For myself, I need to beware of the following things:
- being easily discontented, having the mindset 'I deserve better'
- being easily provoked
- being highly opinionated and always seeking to have the last word
- being overly concerned about what other people think.

We need sound doctrine in our minds and lived out in our daily behaviour. After all, the way you live reveals what you actually believe.

Our lives are to reflect the beauty, the balance, the stability that the gospel brings to a mind, a life and a home. The goal for us as women is to know what really matters, to have right priorities, and to be content with what we have. We are to live lives of purpose and intentionality, service, and giving and blessing others. This is spiritual maturity.

Why does obedience matter? (Titus 2-3)

"Jonny," Elizabeth said in a warning tone, "please stop that."

Her three-year-old looked up but continued to bang his plastic Spiderman toy against the back of her car seat.

"Why?"

Elizabeth sighed in frustration.

"Just... because!"

We've probably all had some experience of the wilful defiance of toddlers. And I range from feeling profound sympathy for the mother with the raging, shrieking child on the shop floor, to feeling a little annoyed myself that she doesn't just give in and take the child away so the poor shop assistant won't have to restock a whole shelf again.

But how much are we, as grown adults, like toddlers when it comes to obeying God? Do we shake our fists in wilful defiance, like Jonny, because we perceive His commands to be like Elizabeth's: arbitrary and stemming from a spirit that's easily annoyed?

Well Paul's letter to Titus says a lot to change our view.

'For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age' (11-12).

A true love for Jesus stems from understanding His grace towards us. And He is GRACIOUS! He's not an irritable guy in the sky who imposes frustrating restrictions on us. He DIED to SAVE us and give us FREEDOM from sin! Whenever we shake our fist at God and continue to do whatever we feel like doing, we merely confirm our own slavery to sin. Without God, we are unable to choose not to sin. And the reality is that sin is UGLY. It brings death and destruction, not the glamorous lifestyle that the media portrays as so desirable. It brings a profound emptiness, which is really loneliness, because we are separated from God our Father. We were made to be in a relationship with Him.

Jesus enables us to have that relationship, and His sinless life and death pays the price for all our rebellious living. We are not saved by obedience. Why, then, is it important? Well, a key proof of whether we've really understood God's grace is in our response to it. If we've genuinely understood that we were a slave to a sin, and Jesus set us free, then why would we choose to go back to it? Our eyes have been opened to see our ugly passions for what they really are. God's grace teaches us to say 'no' to them.

Secondly, if we really love Jesus, we will seek to imitate Him and obey His commands. You cannot really love someone if you disregard what they say. So obedience in response to grace is not trying to win our salvation, but expressing our love for Jesus and faith that what He tells us to do is right.

Thirdly, Jesus was self-controlled, upright and godly- so that's our aim too. We should be 'eager to do what is good' (14) because Jesus 'gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own.' (14) We love Jesus because He redeemed us- why would we want to do wicked things? It's illogical, we are His very own- we belong to Him, so real appreciation of our status will be proved by how we act.

It isn't easy, though. Naturally we are 'foolish, disobedience, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures.' (3) But we love Jesus because He saved us from that through His mercy (5). And through Jesus we receive the Holy Spirit (6), who gives us the strength (if we pray and depend on Him) to fight sin.

We are heirs of eternal life (7) and have an amazing future with Jesus to look forward to. But how ashamed will we be if we continue to live lives of disobedience to Him? True love for Him understands His holiness and the way He has made us holy, and shows itself in our obedience to Him.