Helping people to find Jesus

It could be your best friend. It could be your spouse. It could be your Mum or Dad.

Most Christians know at least one person, whom they love very much, who doesn't know Jesus.

How do we reach out to them? How do we help them to come to know who Jesus is and what He has done for them? How can we make sure that they're going to be in heaven too?

1. Remember it's God who saves.
Whenever someone becomes a Christian, it is a miracle. It may not always happen as dramatically as Saul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), but it is always a work of God's Holy Spirit: to convict people that they're going in the wrong direction and that they need to turn and go God's way. That's what happens when someone becomes a Christian. They turn away from sin and from ruling their own life, and they turn to God and ask Him to be Lord of their heart. On the ground level, it may seem like we're making the decision. But actually, it's God who enables us to make that decision. 'This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.' 1 John 4:10 The reality is that we're way too depraved and sinful to muster up love for God completely of our own accord. It comes from Him!

This means that we shouldn't get too hung up on thinking up amazing arguments to convince people why they should believe in Jesus. Yes, it's important to be able to answer people's questions, but ultimately you cannot talk someone into believing. It has to be a step of faith they take from God's Spirit working in them.

2. Pray!
If it's God's Spirit who does the work, we should pray for certain individuals we know. And it's great to pray specific prayers, because specific prayers bring specific answers. If we just pray 'Lord please save Joe', that is a valid prayer but we may never see the answer in our lifetime (Note- George Muller prayed for 5 friends every day of his life. They all became Christians- but some after he had died!). But if we pray 'Lord please give me an opportunity to talk about You to Joe at lunch today', we are more likely to see an obvious answer to prayer, which fills us with hope and joy and fuels our further praying and witness.

Use Scripture to help you pray, such as Acts 26:18 'to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in [Jesus].' Keep persevering, because God is 'not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.' (2 Peter 3:9)

3. Be bold!
Time and again I'm struck, when reading Acts, of the boldness of the apostles. They went into religious places and secular meeting points, they adapted the way of preaching their message but never altered the truth of the gospel, and they saw God's blessing on their work. They weren't always successful in human terms -sometimes the gospel was rejected and so were they- but they were obedient to Jesus' commission to them to 'go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.' (Matthew 28:19-20)

We too need to take seriously the urgency of Jesus' command to be disciple-makers. That involves telling people the gospel, living the gospel out in our own lives, and being intimately involved with others to show them how to live in the way that God wants. In her book 'Out of the Saltshaker', Rebecca Manly-Pippert makes some great points about how we don't have to change our personalities or take a hit-and-run approach to sharing the gospel, but instead we need to develop meaningful relationships with non-Christians and take every opportunity we have to explain why they need Jesus.

And it is a need. We need to remind ourselves of the destination of those who reject God: hell. 'If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.' (Revelation 20:15) It's a sobering thought. Your friends and family are not going to thank you in eternity for failing to tell them the truth.

4. Be prepared!
You need to know the gospel in order to explain it to others. There are some really helpful ready-made simplified explanations of the gospel, such as 'Two Ways to Live' www.matthiasmedia.com.au/2wtl/, or you can use five coloured squares of card to explain the different stages of the Bible's story:
Green- Creation
Black- Sin and death enter the world
Red- Jesus blood was shed so we could be forgiven
White- If we believe we are cleansed from sin
Gold- We have a future in heaven with God forever.

Think about how to simply explain your own story of how you became a Christian. Testimonies are often really effective to show how the gospel has power in people's lives today.

It also really helps to read books or websites with answers to common questions people have, such as 'Why does God allow suffering'? UCCF's www.bethinking.org/ is great for this, as well as the book 'If You Could Ask God One Question' (see http://www.christianityexplored.org/resources/books/cxpq/).

5. Be clear!
I'm really conscious of the fact that I've used loads of Christian jargon words in this blog-post, like 'sin' and 'gospel'. Argh it's so hard to 'talk Christian' without using these words which, to the majority of the population, mean very little -or worse, they mean something different. Just be aware when you're talking to people that when you say 'sin', they're probably thinking 'breaking rules' rather than 'living your own way, not God's way'. When you say 'faith', they may be thinking Buddhist-style believe-whatever-you-want-to-believe faith, rather than believing in Jesus and trusting in Him. Try to explain things as simply as possible, using things from our culture to help. In Acts 17 Paul did exactly that- he used a altar to an 'unknown God' and a poem to explain to the people of Athens who the real God was. If we read the papers and keep aware of what's going on in the media, we will find ways of engaging with people and helping them to understand why Jesus is relevant to their lives.

6. Genuinely love people.
Don't make people projects. They are individuals beloved by God. Treat them with respect and don't force yourself upon them. Give them space to think and respond and space to say 'not now' or to walk away from God. You have to accept that God works in His time, not yours, and you jumping up and down and screaming isn't going to help. You being there and listening and caring WILL help.

If churches welcome non-believers into the community, that is a huge witness and a big draw for people in our culture which is very individualistic and very lonely. People want to be loved and people want intimacy- that's why we love snooping at celebrities. The church should be the one place in this world of selfishness where people are loved for who they are, and not for what they can give.


I could go on and on but I'll end with encouraging you to keep going, keep praying, keep hoping, and keep praising God, for He is very very gracious and good.

A weakness for women- Samson

Judges 16

Samson continually shows a weakness for women that is
a) sinful
b) leads him into many dangerous situations.

God graciously provides ways for him to escape and triumph in his marriage, the incident with the prostitute in Gaza, but finally God allows the Philistines to overpower him.

Samson allows himself to love a Philistine woman (again), and puts himself in her power by telling her the secret of his strength. He became complacent and arrogant in his 'strength', forgetting that he is dependent on God and his role as a Nazirite was to be set apart for God. His actions repeatedly went against this role.

But through Samson, God works another victory for Israel- at the cost of Samson's life when he pulls down the temple of Dagon. God's purposes came to pass but Samson often obstructed them more than he fulfilled them.

This is perhaps a warning to us as Christians of the damaging effect romantic involvement with non Christians can have. You can definitely still be a Christian and go out with, even marry, a non-Christian, but in doing so you are obstructing God's work through you. You cannot be as effective for God when you are yoked to an unbeliever (see 2 Corinthians 6). You cannot have a marriage that is a gospel partnership. And you have duties and responsibilities towards your spouse which may reduce your involvement in gospel ministry, because they will not be involved with it too.

We need to constantly examine our hearts to see if we value God above every single other thing (including people) in our lives. If we place a person before Him, even if it's a spouse, then we are not living in the way that He wants us to (see Luke 14:25-27).

Helping Christians who are married to non-Christians

Recently I posted a series of articles on Christian attitudes to dating and relationships, including the principle that Christians should not go out with, or marry, a non-Christian.

But what happens if you become a Christian AFTER marriage? Or what if you DID marry a non-Christian? Perhaps you know a Christian who is married to a non-believer. What help can you give?

Well I'd like to recommend John Dickson's 'Promoting the Gospel'. I found this book, which covers evangelism in all areas of life, particularly enlightening on the subject of mixed faith marriages. He looks at 1 Peter 3:1-2:
'Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.'

This is what he says:
'Peter plainly says that people can be won to Christianity through behaviour. Am I saying that faith in Christ can come about without hearing the gospel? No... people cannot put their faith in Jesus without first learning the gospel about him. However, this does not mean that hearing the gospel is the only cause of faith...
Peter's words in 1 Peter 3:1-2 are not intended as a "let-off" for those who are shy about Christ, but as an encouragement to those who find themselves in situations in which speaking about the Faith is difficult or inappropriate. The marriage relationship (the specific context of Peter's words) is a classic example...
[Be reassured that] the Lord of the harvest can win over our loved ones without a word (from you) by the power of a godly life.' (p100-101)

In other words, if your spouse is not a Christian, you need to:
1. Pray for them to be saved.
2. Continue as a Christian yourself- keep going to church and join a small group, or find a Christian friend of the same sex as you who you can meet up with for prayer and support. Don't struggle alone- get help! Finding someone else in the same situation could be really helpful for both of you (again same sex as you applies).
3. Live a God-honouring life before them, to point them towards Jesus.
4. Share the gospel with them when the opportunity arises, in a gentle and respectful way.
5. Don't nag them!
6. Guard yourself against lust and jealousy for Christian marriages in your church. Pray against discontentment. God has put you in this situation for a reason, to teach you new things, and He is in control. He works everything for the good of those who love Him, so trust that He knows what He's doing (Rom 8:28).

1 Corinthians 7 is really relevant to this situation:
'If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him.'

In Corinth, people were becoming Christians, and then divorcing their unbelieving spouses. Paul says this is wrong! God is a God of faithfulness, who hates divorce. That is never what He wants you to do. Instead, God 'sanctifies' the unbelieving spouse- in other words, God makes special provision for His children who are married to unbelievers. He does not automatically convert the spouse, but He blesses the children of a mixed faith marriage.

Of course, this passage is not a justification for Christians, who have the choice of who they marry, to marry non-Christians. The question 'how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?' is a verse of encouragement to those in a very difficult situation, not a mandate to enter this situation. Paul makes it clear in this very chapter that if a Christian has the choice of whom they marry, they should definitely marry another Christian (v39). The whole point about retaining the place in life to which God has called you simply means that you can't get out of your marriage bond when you become a Christian.

Being a Christian married to a non-Christian is very tough, and no Christian should ever willingly choose this situation. But, as I can testify from witnessing it with my own eyes, God can certainly bring much blessing to those who seek to remain faithful to Him within a mixed faith marriage. The church needs to be particularly pro-active in supporting these marriages, particularly the Christian spouse, who can easily become isolated. Churches also need to be aware that a Christian married to a non-Christian will have to be sensitive to the needs of their spouse, which may mean a reduced involvement in serving in church life. If you are a Christian who is supporting a friend in a mixed faith marriage, or you are in a mixed faith marriage, keep praying for God to give you wisdom. I'd very much appreciate any comments you can make to share from your own experiences. May the Lord bless you!