Some thoughts on Titus 2 - priorities

'Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.' Titus 2:3-5

I've been working through Carolyn Mahaney's 'Feminine Appeal' and the series 'God's beautiful design for women' on Revive our Hearts, because I've been feeling really convicted lately that I haven't got my priorities right. Having just had a new baby, it's a good time to re-evaluate where I am in my life, and whether I am doing the things God has called me to do, or getting distracted with other things that don't really matter.

You can't ignore from these verses in Titus that, as women, our priorities have to be focused around loving God and loving our families. Home has to be a priority, whether we work outside of it or not. I've been struck by some of this teaching that the home was created by God, and in society today the home is falling apart. It's because we've got our priorities wrong and we've believed the lie that we need a successful career and a good salary to be fulfilled. Our culture tells us that being in the home is not as valuable as making a financial contribution to the family outside of it, so too often we are sacrificing our family life in favour of earning more money. I'm not saying all women should be stay-at-home mums with no outside jobs because I really enjoy my job! But I do think it's easy for my job to take the first and best of me, and my home and family to get whatever is left over of my time and energy.

It's not about making our homes an idol, a beautiful magazine-type place #CathKidston etc. We want to make our homes somewhere we belong, somewhere orderly, a place we want to return to, a space where we talk and grow together as a family, a place which draws in those that we love and outsiders to know and love God better. This can only happen through the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. The gospel has transformed our lives, and as we seek to obey God by doing the things we are told to do in Titus 2 (love our husband and children, be self-controlled, pure and kind, working at home and being submissive to our husband), this shows the world how amazing the gospel is.

The heart attitude with which we serve -doing chores, cooking meals, cleaning and so on- is absolutely crucial, because we are called to be kind. This passage in Titus calls us to be selfless women, Christ-centred and other-person-centred, like Dorcas in Acts 9. Kindness of heart will not make menial tasks glamorous, but it will lift the load and make them an act of real love and worship.

The emphasis in Titus on self control shows the importance of having a sound mind too. We can't do any of these things without disciplining our minds to put the brakes on to unsound thinking and behaviour. Nancy Leigh de Moss's portraits of a sophron woman (sound) and non-sophron woman are really convicting. For myself, I need to beware of the following things:
- being easily discontented, having the mindset 'I deserve better'
- being easily provoked
- being highly opinionated and always seeking to have the last word
- being overly concerned about what other people think.

We need sound doctrine in our minds and lived out in our daily behaviour. After all, the way you live reveals what you actually believe.

Our lives are to reflect the beauty, the balance, the stability that the gospel brings to a mind, a life and a home. The goal for us as women is to know what really matters, to have right priorities, and to be content with what we have. We are to live lives of purpose and intentionality, service, and giving and blessing others. This is spiritual maturity.

Lessons from Psalms #6 - A family that follows the Lord

There are some beautiful pictures in the Psalms of what it means to just love God and build a home around serving Him as a family.

Psalm 127 opens with 'Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it'. We do spend most of our lives creating our own home and family, but we have to recognise that everything we have comes from God. Our children are 'a heritage of the Lord' (v3), not one of our achievements. The question the Psalms often seem to ask is: what are you doing with the gifts God has given you?

Psalm 128 gives a picture of gospel prosperity (not prosperity gospel!!). 'Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him. You will eat the fruit of your labour; blessings and prosperity will be yours.' (v1-2) It's a principle, rather than a promise, that those who love God will live a life of blessing, though not one free of suffering. It's interesting that the picture of the godly family and their blessing is not one of isolation, but one that is part of the community of God's people: 'May the Lord bless you from Zion; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.' (v5) We're not meant to hide away trying to create the perfect home and family; we're meant to live out the gospel in community together, teaching our children by practical example of what it means to love God and others.

Psalm 1 is often described as the key to the Psalms, and the message is clear: following the Lord brings true joy and prosperity, whereas wickedness leads to judgement and destruction. I love the picture in verse 3 that the righteous person is 'like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither'. I've planted some trees in my garden recently and I was told that the main reason young trees die is lack of water. I am constantly amazed that I can pour basinfuls of washing up water on those trees and they soak it all up and seem thirsty for more! Good job I live in Wales where it rains all the time. But it made the picture in the Psalms more real to me, that if a tree is planted by streams of water, it never dies, because it always has replenishment. If we are truly going to live righteous lives and build godly families, we will constantly need refreshing from the Lord to do that. We will be constantly giving to others, so we need to be finding our nourishment in God. We can't follow God's ways and be good parents without completely relying on His strength and power. Ask God to bless your home and family, and then be prepared to obey Him.

Lessons from Psalms #1: Zion

I've been really digging into the Psalms as one Bible book I want to get to know a lot better this year. So often I dip into Psalms here and there, but I hadn't really systematically gone through the whole book before. I've always been fascinated at how rich and deep these poems are, and I particularly wanted to look more at how Christ features in the Psalms, as a Messiah and a King.

But the first thing I really want to write about is the theme of Zion - partly because I remember being asked by a friend at school what the word 'Zion' meant. I had no idea. And to be honest, I don't think I really understand this word properly now. I've had a look in the New Bible Dictionary and a few other places, and I've been gleaning from the Psalms more about what Zion is and what it means for us as Christians.

Zion as a place where God dwells
When David captured the city of Jerusalem and made it Israel's capital, the ark of the covenant was installed in a tent shrine on Mount Zion. So, in a strict sense, Zion means that place in Jerusalem where the ark was, and so where God's presence dwelt in a special way.
But it comes to symbolise God's earthly dwelling amongst His people in a broader way - especially when Jerusalem is plundered and God's people are taken off to exile in Babylon. Zion becomes this centrepoint of longing for the faithful remnant of God's people who are waiting to see God return to His people and lift the curse upon them for the nation's disobedience.

'By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept
when we remembered Zion.'

Ps 137:1

Zion as a place God loves
Prophets like Isaiah spoke of a day of future salvation, when the people would be restored to God as their true husband. Zion would be rebuilt and God's blessing on it would extend to bless the nations of the world. God's relationship to Zion is compared to marriage. His love is unchangeably set upon the people of Zion, and His righteousness guarantees her liberation.

'as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you... You who call on the Lord, give yourselves no rest, and give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem and makes her the praise of the earth.'

Isa 62:5-7

The challenge of Zion to us
So here's the challenge for us as Christians:

- Do we long for God?

'How lovely is your dwelling place, Lord Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.'

Ps 84:1-2

- Do we see our home as the heavenly city we wait for?

'There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.'

Ps 46.4

We can thank God that we no longer need Jerusalem, Mount Zion in an earthly sense. We don't need a special temple to go to meet with Him, because Jesus has torn down the curtain and made the way for us. By His Spirit He dwells in us! (2 Tim 1:14, 1 Jn 3:24)

We feel the weakness of our flesh every day, the struggle we have to connect with God because of all the sin and distraction that threatens our intimacy with Him. Let's not forget that the day is coming with all those barriers will be gone forever. (Rev 21)

I was thinking of how, when my husband goes away, I am so excited for his return. That's how I should feel about Jesus' second coming! Let's live in eager expectation for that day!

The concept of Home

My husband and I were talking about this and it made me think through what a Home is in the Bible. Why are we so obsessed with creating a home for ourselves? Is it right to do that?

The overall conclusion I came to is that the reason we are home-makers is that

we seek to recreate Eden, our Paradise that was lost.

In Eden, as described in Genesis 1-2, we lived in a perfect world, in a perfect relationship with God. There was no danger, there was no bloodshed. But man's sin in Genesis 3 broke that perfect safety. Adam and Eve were cast out into a lonely and scary world with predators. Their son Cain became a murderer, and he himself needed God to give him a mark of protection as he feared for his own safety. The world had become brutal.

And so, ever since then, human beings have sought to create a home for themselves, as a haven of safety and domestic security. Our home is where we retreat at the end of the day, where we feel safe from the insults and attacks of others, where we can really be ourselves. It doesn't matter if it's a tent or a red-brick building, its function is the same.

In the little vignettes and stories we have in the Bible, we catch glimpses of people's homes. Isaac is deceived by Jacob in the security of his home, Joseph is welcomed into the home of Potiphar but his master's wife tries to seduce him then falsely accuses him, King David calls for Bathsheba to be brought into his home so that he can sleep with her. In a fallen world, the home has become a place of corruption and sin, just as much as the outside world. And the devil loves to attack the homes of believers, because a home where God is at the centre is a piece of Paradise which magnetically attracts those seeking love and friendship.

But we mustn't forget that home can become a fatal trap of comfort, too. Abraham and Sarah were brave enough to leave their home to follow God's calling on their lives. Ruth left her home in Moab to make her home with her mother-in-law Naomi. Israel had to leave their homes in Egypt in order to escape slavery, and it took 40 years of wandering in the wilderness before they reached the Promised Land.

We, like them, need to hold onto the promises of God. Our homes on earth are temporary; our real home is in heaven and it is eternal (John 14:2, Heb 11:15-16). Let us uphold marriage and the family as the foundation units for a solid society, and our homes as places where we welcome the stranger, the needy, the vulnerable (Lk 14:13-14). Our homes can be for them a taste of the new heavens and the new earth that will one day come, where there is no pain, suffering or danger anymore (Rev 21). Let us not seek to create a nice home as an end in itself, but in a blazing signpost that we were made for greater things.