'Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.' Titus 2:3-5
I've been working through Carolyn Mahaney's 'Feminine Appeal' and the series 'God's beautiful design for women' on Revive our Hearts, because I've been feeling really convicted lately that I haven't got my priorities right. Having just had a new baby, it's a good time to re-evaluate where I am in my life, and whether I am doing the things God has called me to do, or getting distracted with other things that don't really matter.
You can't ignore from these verses in Titus that, as women, our priorities have to be focused around loving God and loving our families. Home has to be a priority, whether we work outside of it or not. I've been struck by some of this teaching that the home was created by God, and in society today the home is falling apart. It's because we've got our priorities wrong and we've believed the lie that we need a successful career and a good salary to be fulfilled. Our culture tells us that being in the home is not as valuable as making a financial contribution to the family outside of it, so too often we are sacrificing our family life in favour of earning more money. I'm not saying all women should be stay-at-home mums with no outside jobs because I really enjoy my job! But I do think it's easy for my job to take the first and best of me, and my home and family to get whatever is left over of my time and energy.
It's not about making our homes an idol, a beautiful magazine-type place #CathKidston etc. We want to make our homes somewhere we belong, somewhere orderly, a place we want to return to, a space where we talk and grow together as a family, a place which draws in those that we love and outsiders to know and love God better. This can only happen through the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. The gospel has transformed our lives, and as we seek to obey God by doing the things we are told to do in Titus 2 (love our husband and children, be self-controlled, pure and kind, working at home and being submissive to our husband), this shows the world how amazing the gospel is.
The heart attitude with which we serve -doing chores, cooking meals, cleaning and so on- is absolutely crucial, because we are called to be kind. This passage in Titus calls us to be selfless women, Christ-centred and other-person-centred, like Dorcas in Acts 9. Kindness of heart will not make menial tasks glamorous, but it will lift the load and make them an act of real love and worship.
The emphasis in Titus on self control shows the importance of having a sound mind too. We can't do any of these things without disciplining our minds to put the brakes on to unsound thinking and behaviour. Nancy Leigh de Moss's portraits of a sophron woman (sound) and non-sophron woman are really convicting. For myself, I need to beware of the following things:
- being easily discontented, having the mindset 'I deserve better'
- being easily provoked
- being highly opinionated and always seeking to have the last word
- being overly concerned about what other people think.
We need sound doctrine in our minds and lived out in our daily behaviour. After all, the way you live reveals what you actually believe.
Our lives are to reflect the beauty, the balance, the stability that the gospel brings to a mind, a life and a home. The goal for us as women is to know what really matters, to have right priorities, and to be content with what we have. We are to live lives of purpose and intentionality, service, and giving and blessing others. This is spiritual maturity.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Monday, August 18, 2014
The meaning of marriage
There's been a lot of public discussion about marriage in recent months, particularly with the first gay marriages taking place in March this year. I was surprised at the support for same-sex marriage coming from prominent figures within the 'evangelical' wing of the church. It made me think, how important is this? Is this of primary importance, or is it another 'secondary' issue in Christian circles which wrongly threatens to be divisive?
What becomes very clear the more you look into this, is that the issue of gay marriage can't be separated from your fundamental viewpoint on men and women; what our gender actually means. If you're looking at the Bible's teaching on marriage, you find yourself forced to also look at what it says about men, women and their roles - because the various relevant passages address both of these key areas.
Before we can rightly understand what God created marriage to be, we have to rightly understand how God created humanity as male and female.
I'm coming here from a complementarian perspective: that men and women are equally created in God's image (see Gen 1:26-27) but have different roles. Men are given authority and women are called to submit to this authority, under the ultimate lordship of Christ. This seems clear from the following passages:
Genesis 2
- Adam is created first (see also 1 Cor 11:8 and 1 Tim 2:13)
- Adam is given the instruction not to eat the fruit (he has an implicit responsibility to instruct Eve once she is created)
- Eve is created to be a helper (see also 1 Cor 11:9-10)
- Adam names Eve, implying his authority over her.
Genesis 3
- Eve sinned first, but God seeks out Adam and holds him responsible. (See also Rom 5:12, 1 Cor 15:22)
- Male/female relationships are affected by sin in that women desire to usurp the authority given to man in creation, leading to man ruling over woman, sometimes in wrongfully abusive ways.
Ephesians 5
- Jesus' coming hasn't changed God's created hierarchy of male leadership. In fact, Paul teaches here that when functioning in complementarian roles, marriage is in fact a beautiful picture of Jesus' relationship with the church.
(There are other passages too and I recommend this summary of complementarianism if you want to read more).
The point is, same-sex marriage doesn't work from a biblical perspective, because men and women have very different roles in marriage. Even if you ignore the Bible's teaching on homosexuality (which is pretty clear in its condemnation of physically acting upon same-sex desire - see Leviticus 18:21-22, Lev 20:13, Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Tim 1:8-10), you can't take marriage and apply it to same-sex couples and argue that if they are faithful to each other, it is pleasing in God's sight for them to be 'married'. Two women or two men together cannot reflect the mystery of Christ and the church, or fully represent what God intended when He created marriage.
Is this just a secondary issue? More and more I'm thinking it isn't. Because it's only a short step from saying that you think women have equal authority to men, to arguing away all the God-given differences between men and women. Then what you're left with is no biblical picture of what it means to be a man or a woman. And in that context, of course same-sex marriage would be ok. It would function exactly the same as a heterosexual union: two people with no difference in their roles.
It's not a popular teaching, and increasingly it's probably going to become illegal to say things like this. But if you want to honour God first, you have to look at the Bible and try to strip away all the attitudes you've picked up, knowingly or unknowingly, from the world around you. If we come to the Bible with the viewpoint that being equal, as women, to men means that we have to be able to do all the same things as men, then we're not going to like what it says! Or we'll re-interpret, re-translate it so that we don't take it seriously, and in fact twist it to say what we want it to say. I've been really challenged by the True Woman manifesto, a document compiled in 2008 which thousands of Christian women have been signing up to pledge their willingness to listen not to our culture, but to what the Bible says about what it means to be a true, godly woman. There's a lot of key passages referenced in it and it's well worth a look! I want to be characterised by humility and willingness to yield, not so-called female 'diva' power that is all about grabbing what I deserve and claiming my 'rights' as a woman.
What becomes very clear the more you look into this, is that the issue of gay marriage can't be separated from your fundamental viewpoint on men and women; what our gender actually means. If you're looking at the Bible's teaching on marriage, you find yourself forced to also look at what it says about men, women and their roles - because the various relevant passages address both of these key areas.
Before we can rightly understand what God created marriage to be, we have to rightly understand how God created humanity as male and female.
I'm coming here from a complementarian perspective: that men and women are equally created in God's image (see Gen 1:26-27) but have different roles. Men are given authority and women are called to submit to this authority, under the ultimate lordship of Christ. This seems clear from the following passages:
Genesis 2
- Adam is created first (see also 1 Cor 11:8 and 1 Tim 2:13)
- Adam is given the instruction not to eat the fruit (he has an implicit responsibility to instruct Eve once she is created)
- Eve is created to be a helper (see also 1 Cor 11:9-10)
- Adam names Eve, implying his authority over her.
Genesis 3
- Eve sinned first, but God seeks out Adam and holds him responsible. (See also Rom 5:12, 1 Cor 15:22)
- Male/female relationships are affected by sin in that women desire to usurp the authority given to man in creation, leading to man ruling over woman, sometimes in wrongfully abusive ways.
Ephesians 5
- Jesus' coming hasn't changed God's created hierarchy of male leadership. In fact, Paul teaches here that when functioning in complementarian roles, marriage is in fact a beautiful picture of Jesus' relationship with the church.
(There are other passages too and I recommend this summary of complementarianism if you want to read more).
The point is, same-sex marriage doesn't work from a biblical perspective, because men and women have very different roles in marriage. Even if you ignore the Bible's teaching on homosexuality (which is pretty clear in its condemnation of physically acting upon same-sex desire - see Leviticus 18:21-22, Lev 20:13, Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Tim 1:8-10), you can't take marriage and apply it to same-sex couples and argue that if they are faithful to each other, it is pleasing in God's sight for them to be 'married'. Two women or two men together cannot reflect the mystery of Christ and the church, or fully represent what God intended when He created marriage.
Is this just a secondary issue? More and more I'm thinking it isn't. Because it's only a short step from saying that you think women have equal authority to men, to arguing away all the God-given differences between men and women. Then what you're left with is no biblical picture of what it means to be a man or a woman. And in that context, of course same-sex marriage would be ok. It would function exactly the same as a heterosexual union: two people with no difference in their roles.
It's not a popular teaching, and increasingly it's probably going to become illegal to say things like this. But if you want to honour God first, you have to look at the Bible and try to strip away all the attitudes you've picked up, knowingly or unknowingly, from the world around you. If we come to the Bible with the viewpoint that being equal, as women, to men means that we have to be able to do all the same things as men, then we're not going to like what it says! Or we'll re-interpret, re-translate it so that we don't take it seriously, and in fact twist it to say what we want it to say. I've been really challenged by the True Woman manifesto, a document compiled in 2008 which thousands of Christian women have been signing up to pledge their willingness to listen not to our culture, but to what the Bible says about what it means to be a true, godly woman. There's a lot of key passages referenced in it and it's well worth a look! I want to be characterised by humility and willingness to yield, not so-called female 'diva' power that is all about grabbing what I deserve and claiming my 'rights' as a woman.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Understanding Proverbs
As I've been going through this Old Testament book, I've been thinking about how much it informs the mindset and teaching of Jesus and the writers of the New Testament. Although Proverbs can sometimes be a bit of a challenge to read through chapter-by-chapter, because of it's bitty nature and it is quite repetitive with lots of different strands and trains of thought, when you do look at the book systematically, a really clear worldview emerges. I think this is key to understanding Proverbs today, and not just looking at it as a bunch of random quotes or pieces of advice.
The biblical worldview as shown in Proverbs mainly covers the areas of justice and sin. The principles clearly taught in the Old Testament law find memorable illustration and examples in these short, pithy sayings. Just as a preacher can really stun you by bringing home some biblical truth with a well-chosen picture, Proverbs is perfect for bringing to life biblical principles in action.
Justice
A key theme on my heart at the moment! The writer(s) of Proverbs have a really clear understanding of God as a just God and therefore he has utter confidence that evil will be punished, truth will out, and the righteous will be vindicated. 'He guards the paths of justice, and preserves the way of His saints.' (Prov 2:8) 'It is a joy for the just to do justice, but destruction will come to the workers of iniquity.' (Prov 21:15) It is a real temptation for God's people to envy those who seem free from moral restraint, who indulge in sinful pleasures and sometimes seemingly without consequences. But many proverbs remind us that there is a price for sin, and it doesn't pay. 'Do not let your heart envy sinners, but be zealous for the fear of the Lord all the day; For surely there is a hereafter, and your hope will not be cut off.' (Prov 23:17-18)
Sin
Proverbs exposes the very nature of evil and sin as something at the heart of us, not just limited to the actions we commit externally. Proverbs changes the way that we think, because it constantly emphasises that our thoughts make us who we are. People's actions in Proverbs are linked back to their thoughts; and motives are seen as crucial when the Lord looks at us and weighs up our deeds: 'The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the Lord tests the hearts.' (Prov 17:3) The father urges his son 'let your heart keep my commands' and to write mercy and truth 'on the tablet of your heart' (Prov 3:1,3). One of the most famous verses in the book says 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding' (Prov 3:5). The message is clear: if we get our hearts right, then our thoughts and actions will be pleasing to God. God hates 'a heart that devises wicked plans' (Prov 6:18). The many passages about the dangers of a seductive woman warn the hearer to not lust after her beauty in your heart (Prov 6:25), because that will soon lead to physical adultery. The overall message of the book is 'Hear, my son, and be wise; And guide your heart in the way.' (Prov 23:19)
This is not to say that we can somehow achieve our own salvation by changing ourselves and becoming 'good' people. But as believers, part of God's chosen people, washed clean from sin, we do have a divine calling on our lives to be righteous (see 2 Peter 1). The distinction the Psalms so often make between the righteous and the wicked reflects this (see Psalm 1). The descriptions of men like Noah and Job as righteous also indicate that there is a righteousness the people of God can possess through the power of His grace and Spirit.
Proverbs gives us a healthy reminder that our thoughts and actions matter greatly to God; He despises hypocrisy, and He calls for us to live in purity as He is pure. Reading through the book, I've felt challenged to care a lot more about my thought patterns and see that as who I really am, rather than the pretty good Christian I project to the world through being a very 'respectable' person. If I look purely at the person I am around other people, and my actions, then I can kid myself that I'm doing pretty well at living the Christian life. It's when I dig deeper and look at my heart, that I am forced to confront the ugliness of my motives, my pride and my envy of others, that all too often I skilfully mask. Proverbs urges me to get to the root of sin and cut out these evil thoughts and eradicate them from my mind, and only then can I really be the person God wants me to be.
The biblical worldview as shown in Proverbs mainly covers the areas of justice and sin. The principles clearly taught in the Old Testament law find memorable illustration and examples in these short, pithy sayings. Just as a preacher can really stun you by bringing home some biblical truth with a well-chosen picture, Proverbs is perfect for bringing to life biblical principles in action.
Justice
A key theme on my heart at the moment! The writer(s) of Proverbs have a really clear understanding of God as a just God and therefore he has utter confidence that evil will be punished, truth will out, and the righteous will be vindicated. 'He guards the paths of justice, and preserves the way of His saints.' (Prov 2:8) 'It is a joy for the just to do justice, but destruction will come to the workers of iniquity.' (Prov 21:15) It is a real temptation for God's people to envy those who seem free from moral restraint, who indulge in sinful pleasures and sometimes seemingly without consequences. But many proverbs remind us that there is a price for sin, and it doesn't pay. 'Do not let your heart envy sinners, but be zealous for the fear of the Lord all the day; For surely there is a hereafter, and your hope will not be cut off.' (Prov 23:17-18)
Sin
Proverbs exposes the very nature of evil and sin as something at the heart of us, not just limited to the actions we commit externally. Proverbs changes the way that we think, because it constantly emphasises that our thoughts make us who we are. People's actions in Proverbs are linked back to their thoughts; and motives are seen as crucial when the Lord looks at us and weighs up our deeds: 'The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the Lord tests the hearts.' (Prov 17:3) The father urges his son 'let your heart keep my commands' and to write mercy and truth 'on the tablet of your heart' (Prov 3:1,3). One of the most famous verses in the book says 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding' (Prov 3:5). The message is clear: if we get our hearts right, then our thoughts and actions will be pleasing to God. God hates 'a heart that devises wicked plans' (Prov 6:18). The many passages about the dangers of a seductive woman warn the hearer to not lust after her beauty in your heart (Prov 6:25), because that will soon lead to physical adultery. The overall message of the book is 'Hear, my son, and be wise; And guide your heart in the way.' (Prov 23:19)
This is not to say that we can somehow achieve our own salvation by changing ourselves and becoming 'good' people. But as believers, part of God's chosen people, washed clean from sin, we do have a divine calling on our lives to be righteous (see 2 Peter 1). The distinction the Psalms so often make between the righteous and the wicked reflects this (see Psalm 1). The descriptions of men like Noah and Job as righteous also indicate that there is a righteousness the people of God can possess through the power of His grace and Spirit.
Proverbs gives us a healthy reminder that our thoughts and actions matter greatly to God; He despises hypocrisy, and He calls for us to live in purity as He is pure. Reading through the book, I've felt challenged to care a lot more about my thought patterns and see that as who I really am, rather than the pretty good Christian I project to the world through being a very 'respectable' person. If I look purely at the person I am around other people, and my actions, then I can kid myself that I'm doing pretty well at living the Christian life. It's when I dig deeper and look at my heart, that I am forced to confront the ugliness of my motives, my pride and my envy of others, that all too often I skilfully mask. Proverbs urges me to get to the root of sin and cut out these evil thoughts and eradicate them from my mind, and only then can I really be the person God wants me to be.
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