The death of the rom-com

Have you noticed recently that the traditional rom-com has gone completely out of fashion? In the last few months there has been an arid desert of no 'You've Got Mail's or 'Ever After's in the cinema. Instead there have been 'chick flicks' focusing upon women getting what they want. Example: 'Bride Wars'. Ostensibly a film about marriage (another unusual concept in modern films), this comedy is actually about two women who come to an age where they want to get married, and set about the business of planning their weddings to fulfil their life-long dream of a reception at the Plaza. The men have a very small part to play in the film, and I was pleasantly surprised at how the plot subtly questions the idea of women reaching a certain age where marriage seems like the next step to take... regardless of who you happen to be dating at the time.

The elements of romance in a film -even for a target female audience- have been sidelined as our culture has moved away from seeking total fulfilment in relationships. Now we idolise career instead. At the youth club we run for 11-13 year olds, I was really surprised when we held a DVD night and a boy brought 'Step Up 2'. I thought this was a really girly film (having seen it in the cinema), but actually the guys loved the cool dancing, and as we watched it I realised that the romantic storyline really takes a backseat to the tough-girl-turns-into-fantastic-dancer scenario.

As a teacher, it seems to me that young people often have totally unrealistic expectations for how their lives will turn out and what career they will pursue, and films like 'Step Up 2' are a classic example of why this is the case. Films often show success stories without much hard graft. In this dance film, you watch a few clips of rehearsals and then suddenly a group are performing an amazingly polished routine. Kids often don't make the link between working hard at school, and getting good jobs, because this is simply too boring for films to make a good story from.

As a Christian then, how do I respond to the messages of these films? I think it's good that we're moving away from the idea that marriage is THE only ultimate goal for a woman in life, but I don't think the answer is to suggest that women need to relentlessly pursue a career in order to be a success. Nor is it healthy to suggest that you can land the job of your dreams with little effort.

But the crux of the matter is this: where do you find meaning for your life? Whether it's in relationships, or your job, or your hobby, you can never find full satisfaction. Only through knowing God can your soul find rest, and then all these other things fall into place.

'But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all [the things you need] will be given to you as well.' Matthew 6:33

Helping people to find Jesus

It could be your best friend. It could be your spouse. It could be your Mum or Dad.

Most Christians know at least one person, whom they love very much, who doesn't know Jesus.

How do we reach out to them? How do we help them to come to know who Jesus is and what He has done for them? How can we make sure that they're going to be in heaven too?

1. Remember it's God who saves.
Whenever someone becomes a Christian, it is a miracle. It may not always happen as dramatically as Saul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), but it is always a work of God's Holy Spirit: to convict people that they're going in the wrong direction and that they need to turn and go God's way. That's what happens when someone becomes a Christian. They turn away from sin and from ruling their own life, and they turn to God and ask Him to be Lord of their heart. On the ground level, it may seem like we're making the decision. But actually, it's God who enables us to make that decision. 'This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.' 1 John 4:10 The reality is that we're way too depraved and sinful to muster up love for God completely of our own accord. It comes from Him!

This means that we shouldn't get too hung up on thinking up amazing arguments to convince people why they should believe in Jesus. Yes, it's important to be able to answer people's questions, but ultimately you cannot talk someone into believing. It has to be a step of faith they take from God's Spirit working in them.

2. Pray!
If it's God's Spirit who does the work, we should pray for certain individuals we know. And it's great to pray specific prayers, because specific prayers bring specific answers. If we just pray 'Lord please save Joe', that is a valid prayer but we may never see the answer in our lifetime (Note- George Muller prayed for 5 friends every day of his life. They all became Christians- but some after he had died!). But if we pray 'Lord please give me an opportunity to talk about You to Joe at lunch today', we are more likely to see an obvious answer to prayer, which fills us with hope and joy and fuels our further praying and witness.

Use Scripture to help you pray, such as Acts 26:18 'to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in [Jesus].' Keep persevering, because God is 'not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.' (2 Peter 3:9)

3. Be bold!
Time and again I'm struck, when reading Acts, of the boldness of the apostles. They went into religious places and secular meeting points, they adapted the way of preaching their message but never altered the truth of the gospel, and they saw God's blessing on their work. They weren't always successful in human terms -sometimes the gospel was rejected and so were they- but they were obedient to Jesus' commission to them to 'go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.' (Matthew 28:19-20)

We too need to take seriously the urgency of Jesus' command to be disciple-makers. That involves telling people the gospel, living the gospel out in our own lives, and being intimately involved with others to show them how to live in the way that God wants. In her book 'Out of the Saltshaker', Rebecca Manly-Pippert makes some great points about how we don't have to change our personalities or take a hit-and-run approach to sharing the gospel, but instead we need to develop meaningful relationships with non-Christians and take every opportunity we have to explain why they need Jesus.

And it is a need. We need to remind ourselves of the destination of those who reject God: hell. 'If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.' (Revelation 20:15) It's a sobering thought. Your friends and family are not going to thank you in eternity for failing to tell them the truth.

4. Be prepared!
You need to know the gospel in order to explain it to others. There are some really helpful ready-made simplified explanations of the gospel, such as 'Two Ways to Live' www.matthiasmedia.com.au/2wtl/, or you can use five coloured squares of card to explain the different stages of the Bible's story:
Green- Creation
Black- Sin and death enter the world
Red- Jesus blood was shed so we could be forgiven
White- If we believe we are cleansed from sin
Gold- We have a future in heaven with God forever.

Think about how to simply explain your own story of how you became a Christian. Testimonies are often really effective to show how the gospel has power in people's lives today.

It also really helps to read books or websites with answers to common questions people have, such as 'Why does God allow suffering'? UCCF's www.bethinking.org/ is great for this, as well as the book 'If You Could Ask God One Question' (see http://www.christianityexplored.org/resources/books/cxpq/).

5. Be clear!
I'm really conscious of the fact that I've used loads of Christian jargon words in this blog-post, like 'sin' and 'gospel'. Argh it's so hard to 'talk Christian' without using these words which, to the majority of the population, mean very little -or worse, they mean something different. Just be aware when you're talking to people that when you say 'sin', they're probably thinking 'breaking rules' rather than 'living your own way, not God's way'. When you say 'faith', they may be thinking Buddhist-style believe-whatever-you-want-to-believe faith, rather than believing in Jesus and trusting in Him. Try to explain things as simply as possible, using things from our culture to help. In Acts 17 Paul did exactly that- he used a altar to an 'unknown God' and a poem to explain to the people of Athens who the real God was. If we read the papers and keep aware of what's going on in the media, we will find ways of engaging with people and helping them to understand why Jesus is relevant to their lives.

6. Genuinely love people.
Don't make people projects. They are individuals beloved by God. Treat them with respect and don't force yourself upon them. Give them space to think and respond and space to say 'not now' or to walk away from God. You have to accept that God works in His time, not yours, and you jumping up and down and screaming isn't going to help. You being there and listening and caring WILL help.

If churches welcome non-believers into the community, that is a huge witness and a big draw for people in our culture which is very individualistic and very lonely. People want to be loved and people want intimacy- that's why we love snooping at celebrities. The church should be the one place in this world of selfishness where people are loved for who they are, and not for what they can give.


I could go on and on but I'll end with encouraging you to keep going, keep praying, keep hoping, and keep praising God, for He is very very gracious and good.