The necessity of forgiveness #2: ditching the superiority complex

God has used a recent situation where someone I know and love very much wronged me to show me how much of a superiority complex I have. Let me explain.

When someone hurts or wrongs you, and you're the 'victim', the innocent party, it's easy to slip in to a proud, Pharisaical mindset. You know you have to forgive them, and you do so out of a condescending 'I would never have done that' spirit.

But that's not the kind of love and forgiveness Christ has shown to us, and it's not the kind we should show to others either.

The story Jesus told of the unforgiving servant is particularly chilling in the cold way that the forgiven man demands such a small amount of money from the one in his debt who begs to be released (Matt 18:21-35). Had he learnt nothing from the grace he had been shown? And yet that's exactly what I'm like if I look down upon a fellow human being, a fellow sinner, and secretly desire 'justice' for them rather than mercy.

In the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15), I am the elder brother. I'm the one who feels has 'got it right' and why should I celebrate that the rebel is restored?

I miss, then, how much of a sinner I really am too.

For me, you read the Scriptures and the question is raised clearly: How can we withhold forgiveness when God has shown so much grace towards us?

'Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.' Col 3:12-13

If we refuse to forgive, it's because we see ourselves as superior. And that's a superiority complex we have to ditch otherwise we haven't truly understood the gospel.

As Paul writes in Romans 3: 'all, both Jews and Greeks, are under sin, as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one;no one understands; no one seeks for God..." For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus'.

This passage reminds me, you think you're good enough for God? You want to stand before Him with your own righteousness? NO WAY!!! I need Jesus' blood as much as anyone else. That's why I have to forgive; because I am just as much in need of forgiveness as those who wrong me.

The necessity of forgiveness # 1: 1 Corinthians love

I've met a lot of people with estrangements in their family, a relative they haven't spoken to for years. Some almost seem proud of it. And I'm no stranger to having that kind of situation. My parents divorced when I was a toddler and since he remarried, I've hardly seen my Dad despite him living a short drive away. It's a situation with a lot of hurt. But time and again, when I've been tempted to stop bothering to send cards for birthdays and Christmas or other occasions, when I've been tempted to be indifferent and stop caring, God has done something to show me that I have to keep loving, and keep forgiving.

For many years I have prayed about being able to forgive my Dad. And there's times when I feel it's fine; I do forgive him. But there's also times when the deep, deep hurt is dragged up again. It still makes me cry. And I think, have I really forgiven? I have to keep taking it back to God, to my heavenly Father, again and again.

I was struck by an article on Revive our Hearts today about this very issue. The speaker had a similarly estranged relationship with her father. He didn't ask her for forgiveness, but she knew she had to forgive him anyway. She mentioned 1 Corinthians 13: love 'keeps no record of wrongs... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.' (NIV) In the ESV it says 'Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.' (v7) To show the kind of love God has shown us towards others will require this kind of faith and perseverance, even with people who have deeply hurt us and are difficult to love. Whenever I think I may as well give up on my relationship with my Dad, this verse encourages me to keep going, to keep loving, because this will glorify my heavenly Father. As Ney Bailey says, 'we're most like Christ when we're forgiving.'

Ultimately I have to get the right perspective. Too often I feel it is my 'right' to have a certain kind of earthly father; the reality is that I have a heavenly One who is perfect. No one has a perfect earthly dad. And I have been very blessed in that my step-dad has always been a father to me; his family have always loved me and accepted me; God has more than compensated for this one breached relationship in my family by providing me with so many other loving people in my life. And I have to have faith when I pray for my Dad that God can still save him and still restore our relationship; He is the God of reconciliation.

Colossians: journey through joy

Paul's letter to the Colossians has to be one of my favourite books of the Bible. I remember being at New Word Alive in 2006, hearing a series of talks by different speakers through this short letter, and it really impacted my life about the centrality of the gospel in the Christian life. My church, Hill City, also went through the book last year with dynamic, practical teaching that resonated 'Christ in me' again and again. But more recently, I was reading Nancy Leigh de Moss's book 'Choosing Gratitude- your pathway to joy' and I was reminded of how much thanksgiving and joy are part of this New Testament letter. So I decided to read through it looking at all the sources of our joy as believers as found in the book. Here's what I found...

The most important joy in Colossians is joy in the gospel and the work of salvation of God the Father through Jesus Christ, with the Holy Spirit, in the lives of people today. Paul describes how the gospel came to the Colossians and is 'bearing fruit and growing' all over the world (Col 1:6). Its message is one of salvation, of God qualifying the unqualified to 'share in the inheritance of the saints' by delivering them 'from the domain of darkness' and giving them 'redemption' and 'forgiveness of sins' in the kingdom of Jesus Christ, His Son (Col 1:11-14). How amazing it is to be in this kingdom! We, who 'once were alienated and hostile', are now 'reconciled', 'holy and blameless' before a holy God (Col 1:21-22). We were 'dead in... trespasses' and God made us 'alive together with Him', and cancelled 'the record of debt that stood against us... nailing it to the cross.' In doing so, Jesus 'disarmed the rulers of authorities' and truly triumphed over them once and for all. (Col 2:13-15) Our joy as believers, then, is fundamentally in Christ, 'in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge' (Col 2:3). He is the key to everything, the way we can know God and please Him. It's possible for us to have a personal experiential relationship with the God of the universe through Jesus Christ! And it's not a one-off thing, it's a daily reality of walking in faith:

'Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.' (Colossians 2:6-7)

If we move away from Christ, we will lose our joy! We'll get bogged down and distracted by things that don't really matter. We'll lose our perspective. Listen to Paul:

'Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.' (Colossians 3:2-4)

Jesus gives us joy in the future, in the hope of our wonderful eternity which our human minds can hardly comprehend. And Jesus gives us joy in our new identity as children of God, no longer in the kingdom of darkness but in His kingdom of light. We are 100% accepted in Him - that's cause for celebration!

Jesus also gives us joy in lives on earth, as we seek to obey Him.

'Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. .. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self...Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.' (Col 3:5-17)

It sounds like a tall order, but with the help of the Holy Spirit we can truly get rid of the sinful practices of our past and live a joy-filled life of freedom in purity which pleases God.

We can also find joy in our mundane tasks, our work, because we are 'serving the Lord Christ' (Col 3:23-24). We can take joy in any ministry we may have, as Paul did, despite his suffering. He understood that he was carrying out a God-given mandate to 'make the word of God fully known', and he understood that the gospel of Jesus made known a 'mystery hidden for ages and generations'. The message he was preaching, of 'Christ in you, the hope of glory', was a message of transformation, and so completely worth all of the 'toil' and struggle to carry it out. Ultimately Paul knew that he was able to do his ministry because of 'His energy that He powerfully works within me'. (Col 1:24-29) God does not leave us unequipped for the things He calls us to do, so we can do all things with joy knowing that He is sufficient!

We can joy in prayer, because we know our Father hears us. 'Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.' (Col 4:2) We can joy in fellowship with other believers, just as Paul sends Tychicus to encourage the hearts of the Colossians (Col 4:8). And we can joy in the faith of others because the gospel is dynamic and spreading all the time, today as well as in Paul's day.

'We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints' (Col 1:3-4).

1 & 2 Timothy- Hold on to the truth

I love coming back to these pastoral epistles of Paul because they sound a klaxon call to me of what is really important in the Christian life. And with so many voices in the media, some even claiming to be genuine believers, giving so many opinions which seem to contradict the Word of God, these two letters give a timely reminder to us today to hold on to the truth. In both letters, Paul keeps coming back to the prevalence and danger of false teachers ('remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine' - 1 Tim 1:3; 'Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons' - 1 Tim 4:1). Why does he repeat these warnings? Why does it matter that some people out there are saying different things about God, Jesus and the gospel? It's clear from Paul's language that it's not something we should take lightly. In fact, these false ideas and wrong messages are from the realm of the demonic.

The fact is, however clear of the gospel we are when we are saved, we so easily forget the simplicity and yet depth of the truth of salvation. We are prone to grow cold in our appreciation of what Christ has done for us. I think it's interesting that Paul in these letters gives several 'trustworthy sayings' which may have been used like creeds in the early church, statements to memorise and say together as a group of believers, reinforcing the basic doctrine of God. There are also some more poetic sections which may have been sung as hymns. Either way, their function was to give a bite-size statement of what we believe as Christians, what makes us distinctive. The first 'saying' is this:

'Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners' (1 Tim 1:15).

It's a fundamental truth that reminds us that we are all in need of a rescuer. Paul used to be a religious fanatic, zealous for the law of God, and yet he recognises that none of it is good enough to achieve his salvation (see Philippians 3:4-8); the reality is that he was 'a blasphemer, persecutor and insolent opponent' (1 Tim 1:13).

The message Paul has been 'appointed a preacher' for (1 Tim 2:7) is that 'there is one God... one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus' (1 Tim 2:5). Paul emphasises that he is 'telling the truth' (v7) here- the gospel is not another lie. We have to remember the truth of the gospel, because as soon as we start moving away from it, we start giving ourselves credit for our own salvation or losing our assurance and hope. Paul writes: 'If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness, he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing.' (1 Tim 6:3-4) False teaching is linked to arrogance, because it's a re-invention of the truth or a distortion of it, and also to corrupt motives.

By contrast, truth in the pastoral epistles is linked with purity and living an exemplary life for the gospel. In his descriptions of the qualities of an elder and deacon, Paul writes that they must 'keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience' (1 Tim 3:9, NIV). There's a clear link between knowing the truth, teaching the truth, and obedience, just as there is a link between sin and lying and deceit. Paul says that if Timothy closely watches himself for right conduct and truthful teaching, he will save himself and his hearers (1 Tim 4:16). Similarly, in 2 Tim 3:10 Paul refers to his teaching and his way of life in the same breath as things which validate his ministry. Truth must be lived out; if it isn't, then it isn't really believed.

As a leader and a teacher in the church, Timothy is told repeatedly to 'guard' the truth that he knows (1 Tim 6:20-21, 2 Tim 1:11-14) and to be a 'workman who correctly handles the word of truth' (2 Tim 2:15). The Scriptures have to be our start and end point for knowing truth; they are a gift to us from God revealing everything we need for life and godliness (2 Tim 3:16-17). We have to hold on to the truth and church leaders need to keep preaching the truth, despite any negative reaction (2 Tim 4:2-3). Truth is something we have to pass on when training up future leaders (2 Tim 2:2), to protect the church from falling away from Christ and into sin. Paul also says that Timothy should be 'using truth to gently instruct those who oppose you, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth.' (2 Tim 3:25). This suggests that we need humble conviction to see and accept God's truth, a work which can only be done by the Holy Spirit. The job of the messenger is simply to pass on the truth to the hearer; the rest is up to God.

Knowing the truth is the most freeing thing about being a Christian. Finally we can stand before God knowing we are accepted in Christ. We can receive God's good gifts with thanksgiving, because we are freed from legalism and false shackles (1 Tim 4:3-5). We hold on to the truth because it sets us free (John 8:32).