Book review: True Friendship by Vaughan Roberts

I don't know why, but when I think about Christian books on friendship I always think about flowery cards to go in your wallet or Patience Strong sayings on a calendar. Perhaps this shows that there isn't much out there that is theologically meaningful about this important topic. Vaughan Roberts' book is incisive and gets to the gospel heart of friendship: 'Just as God is love, so he commands us to prioritize love in our lives by loving him and our neighbours.. This is not something we can do by ourselves... But, wonderfully, God is determined to change us by his Spirit so that we are transformed from being turned in on ourselves to reaching out in love to him and others.'

I found the teaching in this book really refreshing, and also it really challenged me that we do need to make true friendship a priority in our busy lives and not just settle for superficial social-network-style acquaintances. The book has an honest tone with the realistic acceptance that friendship is hard, but with the gospel mandate that we need it!

Perhaps more could be said about the sanctifying aspects of friendship, whether it's non-Christian friends challenging your faith and behaviour, or fellow believers, but I did like the section on the need to be 'candid' in friendship as this is something we seem to struggle with in our culture. Or at least, it's hard to be candid without being insensitive as well.

This book could be a great one to study in small groups or maybe prayer pairs/triplets, as the questions at the end of each chapter provide good food for discussion. It would definitely be worth reading this with someone else so that you could talk more about how to put the teaching into practice and be accountable on it.

This book is a great, short read, and it could be really helpful for people at all seasons of life from teenage years to post-retirement. Thoroughly recommended!

Review of 'The Everyday Gospel' by Tim Chester

I've read quite a few of Tim Chester's books and he consistently gives good biblical teaching with a particular emphasis on how Christians should live in missional community with one another, sharing life on an everyday basis, and reaching the lost collaboratively through ordinary day by day activities. I think this book has been written to rectify the idea that 'spiritual' activity like preaching, singing hymns or praying is separate or somehow divorced from 'normal' life where we do chores.

The cynic in me sees a male writer choosing as his example chore the task of washing up - which I've heard a few male preachers refer to as well- and part of me wonders if this is the only chore that some of these men actually do! Hence why it crops up so much in illustrations. But that, as I say, is the cynic in me and probably has no real foundation! But I do think that women, who are perhaps exposed to doing more of the mundane household chores (especially if they are full time mums), see them differently to men. I'm making huge generalisations here, I know, but hear me out: don't we, as women, just tend to get on with it anyway and manage (with varying levels of success) to balance housework with our parenting, job, time with the Lord and in fellowship with other believers?

I think the need for this book lies in the sad fact that we often value our day by productivity, and often housework doesn't 'count', because our efforts are so quickly undone or replaced by a fresh load of dirty dishes. We live in a culture that seeks to define success by attainment, and if you've done the washing up it's a pretty small victory. We definitely need to re-think the way we assess our lives: are we judging ourselves and others by the values of the gospel or just the (pretty shallow) values of the world around us? If full time mums are feeling judged by people around them as 'wasting' their time and talents in the home and feeling depressed as a result then there certainly is the need for this book to reaffirm the value of doing the small things well and being diligent in your circle of influence.

I guess what I want to say to sum up is that this book is true and valid, but perhaps it needs more specific application to different people (or genders, dare I say it?) at different stages in life. Whilst it's true that all of us will have to do mundane tasks each day, for some of us this is more relevant than others! And I think this book could have had a real opportunity to speak into the situations of the full time mum, or the recently retired, as well as to the 'busy' professional.

That said, I am probably just being way too critical and I don't want to come across as negative towards a great writer who has produced some fantastic resources, many of which my own church has been really influenced by and I've seen really positive effects from. Perhaps you should buy it yourself and see what you think?

Reaching the Unreached

I've just read Paul Bassett's chapter called 'The Inner City' in a book called 'Social Issues and the Local Church'. It was published back in 1988, but Bassett's challenge rings in my ears as urgent and relevant for Christians today.

There is a whole section of society in the UK that is unreached. I'm not thinking about a particular ethnic minority group (although they do feature in this picture), or a particular county, but the vast numbers of people who live on council estates, in inner-city tower blocks and are largely excluded from mainstream Christian churches and church culture.

The Church in the UK has become dominated by the middle class. For example, most ministers are expected to study for a three-year theological degree before they take up leadership roles. There's nothing wrong with a theology degree, but it's meant that there's a generation of church leaders who are nearly all middle class.

And the sermons they preach are middle class too. They involve long words, complicated trains of thought, philosophy and intellectualism. How would an illiterate person off the street cope in one of our church services today? They wouldn't.

Does that mean we should shut down all the churches? Of course not. But I think we need to open our eyes to the sections of society that we're not reaching through our apologetics talks and wine-tasting evenings. We need to look at working-class people and their culture of interaction, at the benefits sub-culture that's arisen and how people communicate. If we can't preach the gospel in a language that they can understand, we're failing in our basic mission, as given to us by Jesus (Mt 28).

Paul Bassett, who is still working in Melbourne Hall Evangelical Free Church, Leicester, gives a big challenge to middle class Christians in middle class homes and middle class churches.

'It is in our inner cities that we generally find the red-light areas, where crime and prostitution abound. The inner-city dwellers are mainly poor, whereas the challenge comes to a church that is chiefly middle-class. Never was there a time when we needed more to remember that “God is no respecter of persons” and that “the common people heard him gladly.” (Acts 10:34; Mk 12:37)

It is a hard and unglamorous work.

'We must begin by living there. This is far from easy; it demands a real sense of calling, and a certain degree of sacrifice. It involves the whole family, and it may affect the education of the children. It may also demand adaptation to a very different environment, possibly a violent one.'

But God is there! God is concerned for the lost! When we prayerfully seek Him and ask Him to reveal Himself to people, He hears us.

'We need to remember that men of God have stood where we now stand and, with God-given courage and indomitable spirit, have tackled the seemingly impossible task of winning wicked cities for God.'

May God give us the courage we need to get out there into the tough places, and take the gospel to reach the unreached.

'How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"' Romans 10:14-15

Some thoughts on marriage from Elisabeth Elliot

From Elisabeth Elliot's 'Let Me Be A Woman'.

If you are married, marriage is the gift God has given you in which you are allowed to serve Him. Be thankful!

Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living. Accept and thank God for what is given, not allowing the not-given to spoil it.

When you make a choice, you accept the limitations of that choice... saying Yes to happiness often means saying No to yourself.

Marriage is a responsibly undertaken life-union which is lasting, complete and exclusive.

Know that your true happiness lies in the will of God.

You forsake all others.

Appreciate what you have.

Marriage is dynamic. The possibility of growing apart need not be allowed.

The vows are staggeringly serious. But you did not take them trusting in your own strength to perform. The grace that enabled you to take those vows will be there to draw on when performance seems impossible.

'The Reader' reviewed

Yesterday I took some students to a public-speaking competition in London. There was a lot of waiting around... But I managed to get through Bernhard Schlink's 'The Reader' AND do my marking, which was quite satisfying!

'The Reader' has recently been made into a film with Ralph Fiennes and Kate Winslet- I wanted to read the book before seeing the film because my friends recommended it. It is a very compelling read- all about how the protagonist struggles to come to terms with the fact that his past lover was an SS guard in Nazi Germany.

The book raises so many interesting questions. For example, Michael says 'I was guilty of having loved a criminal', but what he is really saying is that somehow his generation is implicated and involved in the Holocaust. He struggles to reconcile Hanna's crimes with the person he once knew, and it raises the issue, as the reading-group questions in the back articulate: 'How can we explain why ordinary people commit atrocities without resorting to calling them monsters?'

The Bible has an answer to this: it teaches that we often try to measure up ourselves against others in order to justify ourselves and pat ourselves on the back for our superior morality. Actually that is fruitless, because our righteousness is filthy rags to God (Isa 64:6). Instead of creating an 'us' and 'them' scenario where the murderers and rapists are on one side of the fence, ourselves on the other, we should accept that every single one of us is capable of 'atrocities' if placed in the right (or wrong) time or place. We should acknowledge that often our thoughts are atrocious, even if our deeds are respectable. And it is our sinfulness that sent Jesus to the cross, so that we could be forgiven.

Our human sense of justice -our desire to see Nazi war criminals pay for their deeds- is a gift from God. He will hold everyone accountable for the wrongs they have done- against other people but also against Him. If you're trusting in Jesus, be glad and look forward to the day when there will be no more injustice and no more suffering. If you're not trusting in Jesus, don't be too quick to call down the wrath of God upon the 'sinners' of our society. Get your rags replaced with the riches of Jesus Christ!

What's wrong with the Church? Organic Church reviewed

Neil Cole's 'Organic Church' asks crucial questions of the Church in today's society.

Bluntly, he writes that to most non-Christians, church is where you get married and are buried, and people are desperate to avoid both. He also points out that an incredible amount of effort and resources are expended for one hour a week. Jesus commissioned us to go into all the world and make disciples (Matthew 28), and we've turned it round, expecting the world to come to us.

Cole points out that the Church belongs to Jesus, and He is our key team player! We need to trust Him more and be prepared to go into scary places to find the 'good soil' of people waiting to hear and believe the good news. The Gospels make it clear where the most receptive people are: they are the outcasts of society, the prostitutes and low-lifes, they are in the places no one respectable wants to go to. If we want to see the church grow, we need to get out of our comfort zone and into the tough places!

Cole also argues that we need to stop allowing people within the church to be passive. New converts do not need to be 'trained' to reach others- look at how Jesus sent out Legion straight after healing him! Ultimately, instead of drawing people out of community, Jesus' plan is to inject the Gospel into existing communities... so that the members become a church themselves.

In short, we need to strip down all our requirements for church that aren't biblical- such as owning a building, running large services and organising rotas - and focus upon what really matters: close relationships that reach out to include anyone, no matter what their past or present situation is. Above all, as Christians we need to show others how Jesus has changed our lives... and show others how He can change their lives too.

Searching for Jesus' worldview

Reading a book called 'Culture Changers' this week, I was struck by the writer's point that as Christians we need to be imitating Jesus, and this should profoundly affect our worldview ('the lens through which we see life and the universe'- Matt Bird, p83). He suggested an exercise of thinking about the worldview Jesus had, with the aim of identifying where our thinking is influenced by the world rather than God. I read through the gospel of John in one sitting and made the following notes on Jesus' worldview. I hope as you read them, like me, you'll be challenged about ways of living and thinking you need to change.


Eternal 'In the beginning was the Word' (1.1)

Humble 'The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us' (1.14)

Open 'They said, "Where are you staying?" "Come," He replied, "and you will see."' (1.39)

Inviting "Follow Me" (1.43)

Social 'Jesus and His disciples had also been invited to the wedding' (2.2)

Respecting God above men 'He made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area... "How dare you turn My Father's house into a market!"' (2.15-16)

Prioritising salvation 'no-one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.' (3.3)

Worth telling people uncomfortable truths 'whoever does not believe stands condemned already' (3.18)

Disregard common prejudice 'You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?' (4.9)

Show people the way to true satisfaction 'whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.' (4.14)

Highlight sin 'Go, call your husband.' (4.16)

See the needs of others, physical and spiritual 'look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.' (4.35) 'Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.' (5.8)

Never panic, trust God 'Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted.' (6.11)

Keep a right perspective 'Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life.' (6.27)

Always remember that God is in control 'No-one can come to Me unless the Father has enabled him.' (6.65)

Don't seek fame 'after His brothers had left for the Feast, He went also, not publicly but in secret.' (7:10)

Work for God's honour, not your own 'He who speaks on his own does so to gain honour for himself, but he who works for the honour of the one who sent him is a man of truth.' (7.18)

Encourage people to judge themselves, not others 'If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her' (8.7)

Do everything to please God 'I always do what pleases Him' (8.29)

Understand that true freedom is being free from sin 'everyone who sins is a slave to sin' (8.34)

See the devil for what he is: a liar 'there is no truth in him' (8.44)

See God's glory in tough situations '[Lazarus' sickness] is for God's glory' (11.4)

Mourn with those who mourn 'Jesus wept' (11.35)

Hold your life loosely for God's glory 'the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.' (12.25)

Be a servant to others '[Jesus] began to wash His disciples' feet' (13.5)

Subject yourself to God's refining 'every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful' (15.2)

Love others 'Love each other as I have loved you.' (15.12)

Remember you don't belong on earth 'you do not belong to the world... That is why the world hates you.' (15.19)

Be unified with all believers 'May they be brought to complete unity' (17.23)

Go God's way, even if that means suffering 'Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?' (18.11)

Remember God has ultimate authority 'You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above' (19.11)

Helping Christians who are married to non-Christians

Recently I posted a series of articles on Christian attitudes to dating and relationships, including the principle that Christians should not go out with, or marry, a non-Christian.

But what happens if you become a Christian AFTER marriage? Or what if you DID marry a non-Christian? Perhaps you know a Christian who is married to a non-believer. What help can you give?

Well I'd like to recommend John Dickson's 'Promoting the Gospel'. I found this book, which covers evangelism in all areas of life, particularly enlightening on the subject of mixed faith marriages. He looks at 1 Peter 3:1-2:
'Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.'

This is what he says:
'Peter plainly says that people can be won to Christianity through behaviour. Am I saying that faith in Christ can come about without hearing the gospel? No... people cannot put their faith in Jesus without first learning the gospel about him. However, this does not mean that hearing the gospel is the only cause of faith...
Peter's words in 1 Peter 3:1-2 are not intended as a "let-off" for those who are shy about Christ, but as an encouragement to those who find themselves in situations in which speaking about the Faith is difficult or inappropriate. The marriage relationship (the specific context of Peter's words) is a classic example...
[Be reassured that] the Lord of the harvest can win over our loved ones without a word (from you) by the power of a godly life.' (p100-101)

In other words, if your spouse is not a Christian, you need to:
1. Pray for them to be saved.
2. Continue as a Christian yourself- keep going to church and join a small group, or find a Christian friend of the same sex as you who you can meet up with for prayer and support. Don't struggle alone- get help! Finding someone else in the same situation could be really helpful for both of you (again same sex as you applies).
3. Live a God-honouring life before them, to point them towards Jesus.
4. Share the gospel with them when the opportunity arises, in a gentle and respectful way.
5. Don't nag them!
6. Guard yourself against lust and jealousy for Christian marriages in your church. Pray against discontentment. God has put you in this situation for a reason, to teach you new things, and He is in control. He works everything for the good of those who love Him, so trust that He knows what He's doing (Rom 8:28).

1 Corinthians 7 is really relevant to this situation:
'If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him.'

In Corinth, people were becoming Christians, and then divorcing their unbelieving spouses. Paul says this is wrong! God is a God of faithfulness, who hates divorce. That is never what He wants you to do. Instead, God 'sanctifies' the unbelieving spouse- in other words, God makes special provision for His children who are married to unbelievers. He does not automatically convert the spouse, but He blesses the children of a mixed faith marriage.

Of course, this passage is not a justification for Christians, who have the choice of who they marry, to marry non-Christians. The question 'how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?' is a verse of encouragement to those in a very difficult situation, not a mandate to enter this situation. Paul makes it clear in this very chapter that if a Christian has the choice of whom they marry, they should definitely marry another Christian (v39). The whole point about retaining the place in life to which God has called you simply means that you can't get out of your marriage bond when you become a Christian.

Being a Christian married to a non-Christian is very tough, and no Christian should ever willingly choose this situation. But, as I can testify from witnessing it with my own eyes, God can certainly bring much blessing to those who seek to remain faithful to Him within a mixed faith marriage. The church needs to be particularly pro-active in supporting these marriages, particularly the Christian spouse, who can easily become isolated. Churches also need to be aware that a Christian married to a non-Christian will have to be sensitive to the needs of their spouse, which may mean a reduced involvement in serving in church life. If you are a Christian who is supporting a friend in a mixed faith marriage, or you are in a mixed faith marriage, keep praying for God to give you wisdom. I'd very much appreciate any comments you can make to share from your own experiences. May the Lord bless you!

Avoiding the spiritual barometer (Review of Terry Virgo's 'God's Lavish Grace')

Ever had a week like this:
Sunday- go to church, sing joyful songs of praise, hear an encouraging and challenging sermon about fighting sin, leave with renewed resolution to obey God and beat temptation.
Monday- make time to read the Bible and pray, fight with sin going well, feel close to God.
Tuesday- managed to scan over a Bible passage before running for the bus, feel flustered but still trying to live whole-heartedly for God.
Wednesday- busy day, no time to pray, feeling weak.
Thursday- give in to temptation, feel like a rubbish Christian.

And so it goes on.

In this commentary, the person constantly measures their spiritual success by their own achievements or failures. If they made time to pray, they feel good about where they stand with God. If they mess up, they feel ashamed. To them, the way God sees them fluctuates like a spiritual barometer. When they're doing well, He's smiling. When they're not, He's angry.

Terry Virgo's book 'God's Lavish Grace' is a fantastic smash-down to this way of thinking, which ensnares so many Christians today.

Virgo's main point is that Jesus has obtained a place for us to stand in grace, a place of total acceptance and security. He goes through the book of Romans to demonstrate that
'they which receive abundance of grace... shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ.' Rom 5:17

Therefore your daily walk with God is not about your spirituality or performance, but about your position in Christ.

Christ's unchanging righteousness is yours every day and is not in the least dependent on your feelings or your performance!

God has not called us to a life of slavery but one of overcoming. We need to KNOW that the blood of Christ is sufficient to cleanse us from every sin (past, present and future); the cross is ENOUGH for us to be forgiven. We can't earn God's approval by our 'good deeds'. On the cross, Jesus said, 'It is finished.' (John 19:30) He dealt with our sin completely. All that is left for us to do is to rejoice in the fact that we are totally accepted by God through Jesus, and then live a life liberated to serve Him, with the empowering help of the Spirit to fight sin.

Virgo's conversational style is engaging and uplifting as he opens up the life-changing truth of God's Word in this book. He shows us how susceptible we are to rely on our own amazingness rather than God's amazingness. He calls us to stop making excuses about human nature and start beating sin out of our lives, because Jesus has given us the freedom NOT to sin. As Christians, we have to believe in that freedom. We can't be fatalistic. We need to sort out sin so that we can properly live up to our status as God's children, and get out there to spread the message of God's lavish grace to a world that desperately needs to hear it.

Are evangelicals 'fundamentalists'? Review of JI Packer

Post 9-11, the word 'fundamentalism' gives people a new sense of fear. To modern morality, any version of religious fundamentalism MUST be a bad thing. When evangelicals claim to believe the words of the Bible as the truth, the word 'fundamentalists' is frequently flung our way. So how should we respond?

J.I. Packer's 'Fundamentalism and the Word of God' is as fresh and relevant now as it was when it was first published in 1958. He argues that fundamentalism is often brushed off as a branch of Christianity, when in fact, it is the only authentic Christianity. Authentic Christianity is a religion of biblical authority. Only truth can be authoritative; only an inerrant Bible can be used, in the way that God means Scripture to be used. Subjection to the authority of Christ involves subjection to the authority of Scripture. ‘Fundamentalism’, in so far as consistent Evangelicalism is meant by this term, is in principle nothing but Christianity itself.

Christianity is built on truth, on the content of a divine revelation. It announces salvation through faith in Jesus Christ, but faith is only possible where the truth is known. The New Testament tells us that God has made provision for the communication of this saving truth. He entrusted to the apostles, and through them to the whole church, a message from Himself which conveys it. This is the Word of God, the Bible.

At the heart of the debate is the role of the Bible. Many people who reject fundamentalism do so because they consider the uncompromising demand for submission to what the Bible says as unreasonable. And this is very serious, at it is a criticism directed at evangelical principles rather than evangelical practice. In effect, these people believe that Evangelicalism is a form of Christianity that cannot honestly be held today. We must, therefore, strive to defend the faith that we believe to be the revealed truth of God.

In the climate of the current Anglican crisis, where the evangelical wing of the Anglican church is being criticised for being 'fundamentalist' and 'separatist', it is worth remembering that the Anglican church is founded on the belief that Scripture is the ultimate authority. The liberal wing of the church is not, historically, supported by the foundation of the church and the 39 Articles.

Unity between true Christians is vitally important to the life of the Church, but what Packer refers to as 'sham unity', the unity between supposed Christians and true Christians, is not worth working for. The wall is cracked because it is not all built on the same foundation. Packer's book provides a timely read in the light of these circumstances.

What is God's design for women? Review of Sharon James' book

In today's society where the world and the Church seem increasingly confused about gender, Sharon James has written a book which is faithful to Scripture, comprehensive in its scope and easy to read.

'God's Design for Women' refreshingly accepts and celebrates the differences between men and women, and offers a return to the Biblical model for women and their place in marriage, the home, the family and also in the workplace. She examines feminist thinking and highlights how much it has affected our twenty-first century mentality- women are brought up in our society to be ambitious and to demand equality, but at the expense of recognising the value of a woman's traditional role as a housewife and mother. Sharon James points out that whilst discrimination against women is wrong, it is just as wrong to view women who choose to be full-time mothers as 'failures'. Adam and Eve were cursed in the areas where they were to find fulfilment- Adam was cursed in his work and Eve was cursed in childbearing. It makes sense that women, who are naturally equipped emotionally and physically for nurturing, invest time and effort in rearing their children and creating a godly home environment.

A concept I found really interesting was that equality and submission go together perfectly within marriage. James points out that within the Trinity, the Son submits to the Father, and yet all parts of the Trinity are equal. It's easy to see the wife as less important because she must submit, yet she is of equal value in the marriage and of course in God's sight.

The book discusses women's ministries and how there is such a need for women to minister to other women and provide emotional support that many men find difficult to give. The book also talks about how to be a godly, modest women in a society that places value solely on physical appearance rather than good character. James writes in a readable style and always comes back to Scripture- I think every woman should read this book and it might also be helpful for men, to reaffirm the differences in gender roles and the section on women's ministries is particularly helpful in a Church context.