First, some definitions:
Slander is open, intentional sharing of damaging information where the person concerned is absent.
Gossip is idle, careless chatter, saying malicious things, and it is a weapon of the devil.
Sometimes slander and gossip are quite subtle - perhaps coming to your own conclusions, which may not be true, and sharing them with others. Or it could be saying something you know is true, but that doesn't need to be said.
How to test your words:
Is it true? Even if it is, is it kind and necessary?
Prov 17.9 'he who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends.'
Do you overlook offenses or do you feel compelled to magnify them and repeat them to others?
If the person you are sharing information with is not part of the problem or solution, don't share! Our words can promote love, unity and oneness, or be divisive and break up a relationship.
Would you want to be quoted?
Would you want the person concerned to know what you were saying?
Are you speaking with a critical spirit or a motive of love?
Don't be focused on the splinters in everyone else's eyes and ignore the plank in your own! Fix yourself, not others.
A wise man does not have to say everything he knows. Instead, he demonstrates restraint and humility and speaks at the appropriate time.
Prov 29.11 'a fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.'
Prov 15.28 'the heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.'
The mouth is connected to the heart, so if we're saying things that are malicious, we need to pull out that sin at the root, which is in our heart and our attitudes and thoughts.
How to take action:
-Repent
-Ask God to purify your heart
-Fill your heart with the Word of God
-Guard your mouth. (Prov 13.3, Prov 21.23, Ps 141.3, Prov 31.26)
It's easier said than done! But if we can get control over our tongues, we can be true peacemakers (see James 3).
