Book review: True Friendship by Vaughan Roberts

I don't know why, but when I think about Christian books on friendship I always think about flowery cards to go in your wallet or Patience Strong sayings on a calendar. Perhaps this shows that there isn't much out there that is theologically meaningful about this important topic. Vaughan Roberts' book is incisive and gets to the gospel heart of friendship: 'Just as God is love, so he commands us to prioritize love in our lives by loving him and our neighbours.. This is not something we can do by ourselves... But, wonderfully, God is determined to change us by his Spirit so that we are transformed from being turned in on ourselves to reaching out in love to him and others.'

I found the teaching in this book really refreshing, and also it really challenged me that we do need to make true friendship a priority in our busy lives and not just settle for superficial social-network-style acquaintances. The book has an honest tone with the realistic acceptance that friendship is hard, but with the gospel mandate that we need it!

Perhaps more could be said about the sanctifying aspects of friendship, whether it's non-Christian friends challenging your faith and behaviour, or fellow believers, but I did like the section on the need to be 'candid' in friendship as this is something we seem to struggle with in our culture. Or at least, it's hard to be candid without being insensitive as well.

This book could be a great one to study in small groups or maybe prayer pairs/triplets, as the questions at the end of each chapter provide good food for discussion. It would definitely be worth reading this with someone else so that you could talk more about how to put the teaching into practice and be accountable on it.

This book is a great, short read, and it could be really helpful for people at all seasons of life from teenage years to post-retirement. Thoroughly recommended!

Pursued but not alone

Lessons from David- 1 Samuel 19-20

David's situation in these chapters is not good. In fact, it is dire.

For a while he lives precariously in Saul's house (again evading Saul's deadly spear), and runs away to find Samuel- the prophet who anointed him. Why? To reaffirm his calling? To ask what God was doing? To be with someone Saul feared and respected? Maybe all these things.

It is understandable that so many Psalms speak of anguish, but affirm a trust in God. Even in dark times, David saw evidence of God's hand providing for him and protecting him:
-the warnings he received from Jonathan and Michal
-Jonathan's intervention
-the Spirit working on those who came to capture David, even Saul himself
-the arrows signal

God provided Samuel and Jonathan to comfort, reassure and help David to escape Saul's wrath. They were able to affirm his innocence ('He took his life in his hands when he killed the Philistine. The Lord won a great victory for all Israel... Why then would you do wrong to an innocent man like David' 19.5) whilst still giving glory to God.

Jonathan particularly stands out as a model of sacrificial friendship, placing his relationship with his father on the line to save David. He doesn't think of his own satus and power, but of David's- he evidently believes and supports God's anointing (20.15).

Jonathan loves God, and his care for David is an outworking of that. David has to face a time of lonelienss and persecution, but Jonathan will be praying for him.