Ruth: the beauty of kindness

Ruth the Moabite is a drastic contrast to the other Moabites mentioned in the Bible, who worshipped other gods (Num 21:29), feared Israel and sent a prophet to curse them (Num 22) and led the Israelites into sexual immorality (Num 25). Ruth chooses to worship the God of Israel, Yahweh, and turns her back on the gods of her own people. Instead of fearing Israel, she joins God's people (much like Rahab before her). Unlike Rahab, Ruth is an example of moral purity. She does not seduce Boaz- she appeals to his sense of justice and righteousness.

But what the book of Ruth really seems to extol her for is kindness. She shows the kindness of covenant love which reflects the great hesed of God towards His people.

Ruth doesn't just make a promise like Orpah; she follows through, and at great personal cost: 'where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.' (Ruth 1:16). Naomi has nothing to offer her; she is a poor widow returning to her homeland (which was a place of famine at the start of the book) empty-handed. Ruth was probably grieving the loss of her husband, and Naomi was not going to offer much solace as her words mention the bitterness she feels towards God (Ruth 1:13, 20). Yet Ruth doesn't just talk the talk to her mother-in-law; she lives it out too. Her love for Naomi is steadfast throughout the book. She loves her enough to put aside her own interests and move to another country in order to care for her and look after her. She voluntarily binds herself with an oath in Yahweh's name, showing the seriousness of her commitment: 'May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.' (Ruth 1:17)

Ruth's kindness leads to Boaz's kindness towards her: 'All that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been fully told to me, and how you left your father and mother and your native land and came to a people that you did not know before. The Lord repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the Lord' (Ruth 2:11-12). Boaz, as an instrument of the Lord, rewards Ruth's loyalty and kindness with special protection, provision, and ultimately possession as he marries her when the nearer kinsman-redeemer declines to act. He sees Ruth's willingness to marry him as a greater kindness (Ruth 3:10), because she has not chased after the younger men.

There is nothing grasping or presumptuous about Ruth. It is interesting that the people bless Boaz's union with Ruth by saying 'May the Lord make the woman, who is coming into your house, like Rachel and Leah' (Ruth 4:11). The implication is that Rachel and Leah were barren women (as Ruth appears to be from being married for ten years with no children) blessed with offspring by God, and this is what the people wish for Ruth with Boaz. However, whereas Rachel and Leah seem trapped in a cycle of grasping, demanding children and warring against each other in a lack of sisterly kindness and compassion, Ruth does not seem to think that it is her right to be married and have children. In fact, by travelling to Bethlehem with Naomi, Ruth was considerably lessening her chance of remarriage after being widowed. In Israel, Ruth would be a foreigner and without protection from her own family. So here we see a link between the kindness Ruth shows towards Naomi with Ruth's humility that makes her willing to be an outsider in a strange land, and go without the security of having a husband and family to provide for her.

As the 'underdog', the Moabite woman in Israel, Ruth recognises her dependence on others (such as Boaz), and ultimately her dependence on God. We can perhaps infer that it was her faith that Yahweh would look after her and Naomi, that He would provide for them, that gave her the ability to act in kindness and in faith, and leave the comfort and security of home behind her. Boaz recognises that it is "the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!" (Ruth 2:12) The story shows that her confidence was not misplaced. Ruth encourages us that God's kindness is available to those who depend on Him, and the more we cultivate humility, the more we will be able to show true kindness to others and put their needs before our own.

Some thoughts on Titus 2 - priorities

'Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.' Titus 2:3-5

I've been working through Carolyn Mahaney's 'Feminine Appeal' and the series 'God's beautiful design for women' on Revive our Hearts, because I've been feeling really convicted lately that I haven't got my priorities right. Having just had a new baby, it's a good time to re-evaluate where I am in my life, and whether I am doing the things God has called me to do, or getting distracted with other things that don't really matter.

You can't ignore from these verses in Titus that, as women, our priorities have to be focused around loving God and loving our families. Home has to be a priority, whether we work outside of it or not. I've been struck by some of this teaching that the home was created by God, and in society today the home is falling apart. It's because we've got our priorities wrong and we've believed the lie that we need a successful career and a good salary to be fulfilled. Our culture tells us that being in the home is not as valuable as making a financial contribution to the family outside of it, so too often we are sacrificing our family life in favour of earning more money. I'm not saying all women should be stay-at-home mums with no outside jobs because I really enjoy my job! But I do think it's easy for my job to take the first and best of me, and my home and family to get whatever is left over of my time and energy.

It's not about making our homes an idol, a beautiful magazine-type place #CathKidston etc. We want to make our homes somewhere we belong, somewhere orderly, a place we want to return to, a space where we talk and grow together as a family, a place which draws in those that we love and outsiders to know and love God better. This can only happen through the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. The gospel has transformed our lives, and as we seek to obey God by doing the things we are told to do in Titus 2 (love our husband and children, be self-controlled, pure and kind, working at home and being submissive to our husband), this shows the world how amazing the gospel is.

The heart attitude with which we serve -doing chores, cooking meals, cleaning and so on- is absolutely crucial, because we are called to be kind. This passage in Titus calls us to be selfless women, Christ-centred and other-person-centred, like Dorcas in Acts 9. Kindness of heart will not make menial tasks glamorous, but it will lift the load and make them an act of real love and worship.

The emphasis in Titus on self control shows the importance of having a sound mind too. We can't do any of these things without disciplining our minds to put the brakes on to unsound thinking and behaviour. Nancy Leigh de Moss's portraits of a sophron woman (sound) and non-sophron woman are really convicting. For myself, I need to beware of the following things:
- being easily discontented, having the mindset 'I deserve better'
- being easily provoked
- being highly opinionated and always seeking to have the last word
- being overly concerned about what other people think.

We need sound doctrine in our minds and lived out in our daily behaviour. After all, the way you live reveals what you actually believe.

Our lives are to reflect the beauty, the balance, the stability that the gospel brings to a mind, a life and a home. The goal for us as women is to know what really matters, to have right priorities, and to be content with what we have. We are to live lives of purpose and intentionality, service, and giving and blessing others. This is spiritual maturity.

The meaning of marriage

There's been a lot of public discussion about marriage in recent months, particularly with the first gay marriages taking place in March this year. I was surprised at the support for same-sex marriage coming from prominent figures within the 'evangelical' wing of the church. It made me think, how important is this? Is this of primary importance, or is it another 'secondary' issue in Christian circles which wrongly threatens to be divisive?

What becomes very clear the more you look into this, is that the issue of gay marriage can't be separated from your fundamental viewpoint on men and women; what our gender actually means. If you're looking at the Bible's teaching on marriage, you find yourself forced to also look at what it says about men, women and their roles - because the various relevant passages address both of these key areas.

Before we can rightly understand what God created marriage to be, we have to rightly understand how God created humanity as male and female.

I'm coming here from a complementarian perspective: that men and women are equally created in God's image (see Gen 1:26-27) but have different roles. Men are given authority and women are called to submit to this authority, under the ultimate lordship of Christ. This seems clear from the following passages:
Genesis 2
- Adam is created first (see also 1 Cor 11:8 and 1 Tim 2:13)
- Adam is given the instruction not to eat the fruit (he has an implicit responsibility to instruct Eve once she is created)
- Eve is created to be a helper (see also 1 Cor 11:9-10)
- Adam names Eve, implying his authority over her.

Genesis 3
- Eve sinned first, but God seeks out Adam and holds him responsible. (See also Rom 5:12, 1 Cor 15:22)
- Male/female relationships are affected by sin in that women desire to usurp the authority given to man in creation, leading to man ruling over woman, sometimes in wrongfully abusive ways.

Ephesians 5
- Jesus' coming hasn't changed God's created hierarchy of male leadership. In fact, Paul teaches here that when functioning in complementarian roles, marriage is in fact a beautiful picture of Jesus' relationship with the church.

(There are other passages too and I recommend this summary of complementarianism if you want to read more).

The point is, same-sex marriage doesn't work from a biblical perspective, because men and women have very different roles in marriage. Even if you ignore the Bible's teaching on homosexuality (which is pretty clear in its condemnation of physically acting upon same-sex desire - see Leviticus 18:21-22, Lev 20:13, Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Tim 1:8-10), you can't take marriage and apply it to same-sex couples and argue that if they are faithful to each other, it is pleasing in God's sight for them to be 'married'. Two women or two men together cannot reflect the mystery of Christ and the church, or fully represent what God intended when He created marriage.

Is this just a secondary issue? More and more I'm thinking it isn't. Because it's only a short step from saying that you think women have equal authority to men, to arguing away all the God-given differences between men and women. Then what you're left with is no biblical picture of what it means to be a man or a woman. And in that context, of course same-sex marriage would be ok. It would function exactly the same as a heterosexual union: two people with no difference in their roles.

It's not a popular teaching, and increasingly it's probably going to become illegal to say things like this. But if you want to honour God first, you have to look at the Bible and try to strip away all the attitudes you've picked up, knowingly or unknowingly, from the world around you. If we come to the Bible with the viewpoint that being equal, as women, to men means that we have to be able to do all the same things as men, then we're not going to like what it says! Or we'll re-interpret, re-translate it so that we don't take it seriously, and in fact twist it to say what we want it to say. I've been really challenged by the True Woman manifesto, a document compiled in 2008 which thousands of Christian women have been signing up to pledge their willingness to listen not to our culture, but to what the Bible says about what it means to be a true, godly woman. There's a lot of key passages referenced in it and it's well worth a look! I want to be characterised by humility and willingness to yield, not so-called female 'diva' power that is all about grabbing what I deserve and claiming my 'rights' as a woman.

What is God's design for women? Review of Sharon James' book

In today's society where the world and the Church seem increasingly confused about gender, Sharon James has written a book which is faithful to Scripture, comprehensive in its scope and easy to read.

'God's Design for Women' refreshingly accepts and celebrates the differences between men and women, and offers a return to the Biblical model for women and their place in marriage, the home, the family and also in the workplace. She examines feminist thinking and highlights how much it has affected our twenty-first century mentality- women are brought up in our society to be ambitious and to demand equality, but at the expense of recognising the value of a woman's traditional role as a housewife and mother. Sharon James points out that whilst discrimination against women is wrong, it is just as wrong to view women who choose to be full-time mothers as 'failures'. Adam and Eve were cursed in the areas where they were to find fulfilment- Adam was cursed in his work and Eve was cursed in childbearing. It makes sense that women, who are naturally equipped emotionally and physically for nurturing, invest time and effort in rearing their children and creating a godly home environment.

A concept I found really interesting was that equality and submission go together perfectly within marriage. James points out that within the Trinity, the Son submits to the Father, and yet all parts of the Trinity are equal. It's easy to see the wife as less important because she must submit, yet she is of equal value in the marriage and of course in God's sight.

The book discusses women's ministries and how there is such a need for women to minister to other women and provide emotional support that many men find difficult to give. The book also talks about how to be a godly, modest women in a society that places value solely on physical appearance rather than good character. James writes in a readable style and always comes back to Scripture- I think every woman should read this book and it might also be helpful for men, to reaffirm the differences in gender roles and the section on women's ministries is particularly helpful in a Church context.