The necessity of forgiveness #2: ditching the superiority complex

God has used a recent situation where someone I know and love very much wronged me to show me how much of a superiority complex I have. Let me explain.

When someone hurts or wrongs you, and you're the 'victim', the innocent party, it's easy to slip in to a proud, Pharisaical mindset. You know you have to forgive them, and you do so out of a condescending 'I would never have done that' spirit.

But that's not the kind of love and forgiveness Christ has shown to us, and it's not the kind we should show to others either.

The story Jesus told of the unforgiving servant is particularly chilling in the cold way that the forgiven man demands such a small amount of money from the one in his debt who begs to be released (Matt 18:21-35). Had he learnt nothing from the grace he had been shown? And yet that's exactly what I'm like if I look down upon a fellow human being, a fellow sinner, and secretly desire 'justice' for them rather than mercy.

In the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15), I am the elder brother. I'm the one who feels has 'got it right' and why should I celebrate that the rebel is restored?

I miss, then, how much of a sinner I really am too.

For me, you read the Scriptures and the question is raised clearly: How can we withhold forgiveness when God has shown so much grace towards us?

'Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.' Col 3:12-13

If we refuse to forgive, it's because we see ourselves as superior. And that's a superiority complex we have to ditch otherwise we haven't truly understood the gospel.

As Paul writes in Romans 3: 'all, both Jews and Greeks, are under sin, as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one;no one understands; no one seeks for God..." For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus'.

This passage reminds me, you think you're good enough for God? You want to stand before Him with your own righteousness? NO WAY!!! I need Jesus' blood as much as anyone else. That's why I have to forgive; because I am just as much in need of forgiveness as those who wrong me.

Colossians: journey through joy

Paul's letter to the Colossians has to be one of my favourite books of the Bible. I remember being at New Word Alive in 2006, hearing a series of talks by different speakers through this short letter, and it really impacted my life about the centrality of the gospel in the Christian life. My church, Hill City, also went through the book last year with dynamic, practical teaching that resonated 'Christ in me' again and again. But more recently, I was reading Nancy Leigh de Moss's book 'Choosing Gratitude- your pathway to joy' and I was reminded of how much thanksgiving and joy are part of this New Testament letter. So I decided to read through it looking at all the sources of our joy as believers as found in the book. Here's what I found...

The most important joy in Colossians is joy in the gospel and the work of salvation of God the Father through Jesus Christ, with the Holy Spirit, in the lives of people today. Paul describes how the gospel came to the Colossians and is 'bearing fruit and growing' all over the world (Col 1:6). Its message is one of salvation, of God qualifying the unqualified to 'share in the inheritance of the saints' by delivering them 'from the domain of darkness' and giving them 'redemption' and 'forgiveness of sins' in the kingdom of Jesus Christ, His Son (Col 1:11-14). How amazing it is to be in this kingdom! We, who 'once were alienated and hostile', are now 'reconciled', 'holy and blameless' before a holy God (Col 1:21-22). We were 'dead in... trespasses' and God made us 'alive together with Him', and cancelled 'the record of debt that stood against us... nailing it to the cross.' In doing so, Jesus 'disarmed the rulers of authorities' and truly triumphed over them once and for all. (Col 2:13-15) Our joy as believers, then, is fundamentally in Christ, 'in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge' (Col 2:3). He is the key to everything, the way we can know God and please Him. It's possible for us to have a personal experiential relationship with the God of the universe through Jesus Christ! And it's not a one-off thing, it's a daily reality of walking in faith:

'Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.' (Colossians 2:6-7)

If we move away from Christ, we will lose our joy! We'll get bogged down and distracted by things that don't really matter. We'll lose our perspective. Listen to Paul:

'Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.' (Colossians 3:2-4)

Jesus gives us joy in the future, in the hope of our wonderful eternity which our human minds can hardly comprehend. And Jesus gives us joy in our new identity as children of God, no longer in the kingdom of darkness but in His kingdom of light. We are 100% accepted in Him - that's cause for celebration!

Jesus also gives us joy in lives on earth, as we seek to obey Him.

'Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. .. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self...Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.' (Col 3:5-17)

It sounds like a tall order, but with the help of the Holy Spirit we can truly get rid of the sinful practices of our past and live a joy-filled life of freedom in purity which pleases God.

We can also find joy in our mundane tasks, our work, because we are 'serving the Lord Christ' (Col 3:23-24). We can take joy in any ministry we may have, as Paul did, despite his suffering. He understood that he was carrying out a God-given mandate to 'make the word of God fully known', and he understood that the gospel of Jesus made known a 'mystery hidden for ages and generations'. The message he was preaching, of 'Christ in you, the hope of glory', was a message of transformation, and so completely worth all of the 'toil' and struggle to carry it out. Ultimately Paul knew that he was able to do his ministry because of 'His energy that He powerfully works within me'. (Col 1:24-29) God does not leave us unequipped for the things He calls us to do, so we can do all things with joy knowing that He is sufficient!

We can joy in prayer, because we know our Father hears us. 'Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.' (Col 4:2) We can joy in fellowship with other believers, just as Paul sends Tychicus to encourage the hearts of the Colossians (Col 4:8). And we can joy in the faith of others because the gospel is dynamic and spreading all the time, today as well as in Paul's day.

'We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints' (Col 1:3-4).

A Christian response to spiritualism: Why I wouldn't go to a medium

I've often seen spiritualist meetings advertised in theatres and around my area, but more recently it seems they've been happening closer to my home. Some of my friends are going along -you may be one of them!- and I thought I should take some time to properly write down where I stand on this as a Christian, and hopefully if you read it, it may make you think twice about getting involved with this sort of thing.

From what I've gathered, spiritualism is all about plugging into supernatural experiences. Often people are interested in what happens after death and try to contact someone they loved who has died. At the heart of spiritualism is the belief that a person's spirit is immortal and exists in a spirit world after their physical body has died. In terms of religion, spiritualism basically says that all religions hold truth and it doesn't matter which path you take because all paths lead to God. Buddha, Mohammed, Krishna and Jesus Christ were all messengers -even the same reincarnated being.

This fits with what a lot of people think today about religion, faith and spirituality. Many people will pray, and believe that there’s a supernatural world beyond this visible world. Many believe that when we die we’ll live forever and go somewhere else. And because this seemingly connects with religions like Christianity, a lot of people feel that they have their own way of 'believing' so they don't really need to look any further into it.

The key difference with Christianity is that we know there is a spiritual reality out there, but we discern what is good and comes from God and what is evil and comes from Satan (or the Devil).

Let me just unpack that!

The Bible teaches that God is the ultimate One who is Lord over everything. He made everything, which includes the powers in the spiritual realm. We don't exactly get a very detailed picture of how a third of the angels rebelled and 'fell' with Satan and came under God's judgement, but we do know that God has allowed Satan and his demons to be active in the world until the day when Jesus will come back and all demonic power will finally be destroyed.

So at the moment, there are demons out there, and they have one simple mission: to take people away from the kingdom of Jesus Christ. They will do that by deception and they will do that by distraction. Spiritualism is a key tool that they use for this.

If someone goes to a spiritualist and they are not a Christian, they have some faith in God and in an afterlife, they may see things and hear things which confirm for them what they already believe. They see 'evidence' of a spiritual, supernatural realm. But they leave the meeting without any desire to know Jesus Christ. That's the key victory for the devil here! Give people something to fill their spiritual appetite, so that they won't bother with Jesus.

Demons have no problem with lying. They will tell you whatever it takes to keep you away from Jesus. Things like “I'm your Grandad, I'm in a wonderful place now, don't worry, you'll join me here one day.” It's a lie. They've told you that so that you go away with a false sense of security, and that you never bother trusting in Jesus for your salvation.

'Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.' 1 John 4:1-3

The Bible recognises that there is spiritual activity all around us. But it warns us not to just listen to anything and every 'message' that is communicated. In fact the Bible is really strong in telling us not to consult with mediums (Leviticus 19:31) because when we do, we open ourselves up to a barrage of lies and deception from the devil and his demons. The Christian standpoint is simple: if it holds up Jesus Christ as the Son of God then the spirit is from God and is good. If not, it is nothing else but demonic. Don't be deceived! Not everything in the spirit world is good. Not everything in the spirit world is connected to God.

Mark Driscoll, a pastor with a lot of experience in the area of the occult, explains the Bible's teaching: 'Don’t believe every spirit... some of you will have a supernatural, paranormal experience that is a direct unmediated encounter with the spirit world. See an angel, have a dream, something amazingly supernatural happened. For others of you, you will have your gateway into the spirit realm through a teacher, but that teacher is getting their information from Satan or from a demon, and they’re all over the place. So you got to be really careful to be critical and to distinguish and to discern that which is good and evil.'

The Bible teaches this amazing truth that Jesus Christ was fully God, yet He also came into this world fully human. Often people will say that Jesus was a great man, but He wasn't God. Others will say He is a god but He never became human and flesh. The thing is, in Christianity, Jesus has to be both so that He can mediate between man and God. He was tempted but never sinned, and He died on the cross to pay the price for our sin. He rose from the dead three days' later, and in doing so He conquered Satan and ultimately has total victory over him (Colossians 3:14-15).

Because I believe and trust in Jesus Christ, I don't need to go to a medium. I don't need to contact the dead or any sort of spirit. In Christ I am connected to God. I have assurance of eternal life. There's no way I would go along to a spiritualist meeting and plug in blindly to a supernatural world, hoping to find a good spirit or hear some message. I've got the Bible, which tells me everything I need to know about God, myself, the world, and about the spiritual realm. I've got the Holy Spirit, who is God, not a created being like Satan and his demons, and He is greater than any of those. I'm not spiritual, I'm Spirit-filled!

Mark Driscoll's advice is this:

'Anytime you get a supernatural experience, anytime you receive instruction, two things you need to do... Pray and test it by Scripture... Read the Bible. Pray to Jesus. Be connected to God. He will speak to you, and he will love you. You respond to him in faith. You trust him walking away from your spirituality, from your superstition, from your skepticism, and you extend your hand to the living God, who adores you and by faith, you move forward, not as a spiritual person, but as a spirit-filled person, as a Christian.'

So that's where I stand. Please do let me know what you think on this! I'd love to chat more about it with you. God bless you.

The hope of the gospel

'Once you were alienated from God... But now He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation- if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel.' Colossians 1:21-23

I was really struck by this phrase today 'not moved from the hope held out in the gospel.' I don't know about you, but I often feel discouraged by lack of progress. When I examine my behaviour over the week, I see myself falling into the same old sins. For every small victory, there are so many defeats. It's tempting to think that I'm stuck in bad habits forever!

But this passage brings an amazing truth: in Christ we ARE reconciled to God and holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation. When we walk in faith, we are walking boldly in that truth that we are forgiven through Christ's death on the cross. If we are going to be people of faith and continue as established and firm believers, we have to be sticking to the hope of the gospel.

What is the hope of the gospel? It's that sinners can be washed clean through the blood of Jesus. It's that enemies of God can become His children. Our whole identity can and will change!

My character hasn't undergone any immediate quick-fix transformations or solutions, but day by day in His grace I AM changing and my behaviour is conforming to my status as a child of God. What an encouragement!

I also feel this is a massive encouragement when we are discipling others. Sometimes we can see brothers and sisters in Christ fall into sticky patches. They may be getting tangled up in sins from their past, or new temptations. But this is the hope of the gospel, that they CAN be forgiven, they CAN be restored to God, if they will continue in FAITH.

I need to stop crushing the hope of the gospel with cynical attitudes towards whether people can really change, because in the power of the Holy Spirit and walking by faith, they CAN!

How desperately our world needs to hear about this hope of the gospel. Let's pray for opportunities to share it and stand firm on it this week!

Paul's Teaching on the Cross

When reading the gospel narratives of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection from the dead, you could be forgiven for not really understanding what was going on. The gospel writers are focusing upon the historical events; they certainly want to show that Jesus' death was the fulfilment of Old Testament prophecy and was inaugurating a new covenant and means of access to God, but they don't give a lengthy explanation of what, spiritually, was happening as Jesus hung there on the cross. Paul wonderfully complements the gospel narratives by giving us lengthy analysis and exposition about what God was accomplishing in Christ's death on the cross throughout his letters. Like the other apostles, he shows that the cross is absolutely fundamental to what Christianity is all about.

Perhaps the most complex yet vital teaching which Paul emphasises repeatedly is that through the cross, our sin can be atoned for. In the letter Romans, Paul explains that

God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. Rom 3:25

The Old Testament system of offering sacrifices, culminating with the annual Day of Atonement, was just a shadow of this greater reality, that God was going to deal with sin once for all. Christians have the incredible assurance that their sins are completely dealt with, because when He died on the cross, Jesus took all of God's wrath upon Himself and was a substitute for us.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus- Rom 8:1

The cross was necessary because of God's holiness. He cannot just overlook our sin, and sweep it under the carpet. But in punishing Christ in our place on the cross, God demonstrated His righteousness (that sin must be punished) as well as His mercy, because through this, sinners could be forgiven. (See Rom 3:25)

Perhaps proof that the gospel is 100% true is the fact that no one could have made it up! It is just mind-blowing that the God of the universe would find a way to deal with sin justly, yet make a way for sinners to be redeeemed. The cross is a totally unexpected way of dealing with the problem of sin- and on the outside, it looks totally powerless, a sign of utter humiliation. Paul states to the Corinthians:

'we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles' -1 Cor 1:23

And yet, the cross was there in God's plan for salvation from the very beginning. Paul emphasises that 'Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures.' (1 Cor 15:3) He shows that in the cross, the trinitarian God was working to bring about the salvation of His people, chosen before the foundation of the world. (Eph 1:4). The cross enabled God to fulfil His covenant promises to Adam and Eve (Gen 3:15)and Abraham (Gen 12), and the covenant He made with Moses and Israel at Sinai was always intended to be temporary until Christ came.

Paul takes great pains to demonstrate that the law could never justify sinners. It highlights sin in our lives, but offers no power to keep us from sinning. The sacrificial system was imperfect and repetitive, without really achieving full access for all to God. In Galatians 3:13 Paul asserts that:

'Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.” ' [Dt 21:23]

In the act of hanging on the cross, Jesus was under the full curse of sinners who cannot keep God's law. He was perfectly obedient, but took on Himself the weight of the disobedience of men. This means that the charge against us of sin, which condemned us, has been totally cancelled and removed:

'he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.' Col 2:14

As Paul expands in Romans:

'For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.' (Rom 8:3-4)

These verses clearly teach the law's limitations, and the way that God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement so that those who believe in Him can have His perfect righteousness credited to their account. Those who believe in Christ are filled with the Spirit and thus empowered to live in holiness, because they are slaves to sin no longer.

An important aspect of Paul's teaching on the cross is that believers share in the cross in identification and union with Christ and thus share in all its benefits. In some mysterious way, those who trust in Christ were 'in' Him in His death, and are 'in' Him now. Listen to Paul's statement:

'I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.' Gal 2:20

Similarly, in Colossians he asserts that 'you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.' (Col 3:3) Believers can say that their sin was dealt with in Christ's body when He died on the cross, and through His resurrection they too have the certain hope of being raised up at the last day.

Paul is keen to stress the total assurance that Christians have that their sins are forgiven. The redemptive power of the cross is such that even the worst of sinners can receive full atonement there. 'In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins' states Paul in Eph 1:7, and there are no qualifications or restrictions to those who can receive this full redemption. Those who trust in the cross for their forgiveness can stand before God 'without blemish and free from accusation' (Col 1:22).

Even more wonderful than this, is Paul's teaching that Christians are adopted into God's family through the reconciliation the cross achieved. He writes that those who are redeemed receive 'adoption to sonship' (Gal 4:5), a position of great privilege, and therefore the creation closeness between God and man can be restored, even bettered. But the cross reconciled more than just individuals to God; it reconciled the whole of creation to God. Paul writes that it was God's full intention that, through Christ's death, He could 'reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.' (Col 1:20) Paul also specifically addresses the fact that both Jews and Gentiles have been reconciled to God through the cross, and the cross destroys any hostility between them (Eph 2:16).

But moving beyond the impact of the cross on us, one of the main emphases Paul continually stresses is the way that the cross leads to Christ's exaltation:

'And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.' Phil 2:8-11

Christ's willingness to become a man and suffer such a humiliating death proved His divinity and led to God exalting Him as Lord over creation. Although it did not seem glorious at the time, the cross brought and still brings glory to God. It shows His wonderful victory over all the powers of evil: 'And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.' Col 2:15

The cross should lead us to love and worship God more and more, the more we understand it. We can never lose the wonder that God has made it possible for us to have eternal salvation through the shedding of Jesus' blood. And aside from inspiring our love and worship, the cross also gives us three things:

1. A hatred of sin

'Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.' Gal 5:24

If we've really understood the cross, and seen how serious sin is that God had to punish His only beloved Son in order to decisively deal with it, then we can't be happy to continue living a life that is sinful and against God. Our sins sent Jesus to the cross; we should now live with an absolute hatred of our own rebellion and strive, through the Spirit's power, to live differently as 'new selves' in Christ.

2. A pattern of suffering

'In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus' Phil 2:5

If Jesus had to suffer, then it shouldn't be a surprise to us when we go through difficult times on this ungodly earth. The cross shows us a pattern of suffering for righteousness, then being exalted. We may suffer now, but ultimately we will one day be raised up and share in glory for ever.

3. Hope

'For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.' 1 Thess 4:14

The historic events of Jesus' death on the cross and resurrection give us a certain hope that God is going to fulfil every one of His promises towards us. He will not let us eternally die, but He will raise us to eternal life and bring us to an eternity of glory that He has prepared and planned since the beginning of creation.

Christians and non-Christians: NOT a match made in heaven

Relationships are funny things. They can dominate our thoughts and desires, they can bring us joy and companionship, they can destroy us. The quest for 'true love' for the Christian can be a bit of a minefield, with lots of casualties if wrong choices are made.

It's easy to feel that the Bible is very out-of-date on the whole issue of relationships, given that in Bible times, arranged marriage was the norm. Whilst arranged marriages are still happening today, mostly in Western culture we go about finding ourselves a spouse very differently. The 'dating game'.

How should Christians approach relationships? My main point for this post is:
Christians should desire to glorify God in their romantic relationships.

This may involve pain and heartache, it may mean walking away from someone you really care about. But the Bible makes one thing clear:
A Christian should not marry a non-Christian.

‘A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.’ 1 Corinthians 7:39

Paul in this chapter of Corinthians deals with some tricky marital situations. What do you do if you’re married, then you become a Christian? Paul says you should stay married. But if, as these verses show, that unbelieving spouse dies, the widow is free to marry, but this time it must be a Christian.

This principle therefore applies to all Christians who have a choice about who they marry (ie. They aren’t already married). It is wrong for a Christian to choose to marry a non-Christian.

Following logically on from this, it makes sense then that Christians should not go out with non-believers. You don’t just get married in our culture, you go out with someone first. If you want your spouse to be a Christian, then you need to make sure any potential spouse (ie. Girlfriend or boyfriend) is a Christian.

Why is this important?

1.Christians and non-Christians are fundamentally different.
The reason God says Christians and non-Christians should not marry is because marriage makes two people ‘one flesh’ (Genesis 2:24). A Christian is a new creation in Jesus Christ, and a non-Christian is still dead in their sins (see Ephesians 2 and Colossians 2). That doesn’t make for a good combination! 2 Corinthians 6:14 says “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” In a relationship, whether you get married or not, you are saying ‘I want to be closer to this person than to my friends and family. I want to spend time with them, sharing who I am with them.’ That makes you vulnerable, as my next point discusses.

2.Christians are fighting a constant battle against sin.
There are many temptations in life (pride, selfishness, greed) which Christians have to constantly fight against. We’re in spiritual warfare (see Ephesians 6)! Therefore if you’re sharing your life intimately with someone, it needs to be someone who’s going to help you in that battle. Someone who will pray with you and for you to be the person God wants you to be. Someone who shares your faith and values. Someone who won’t be an added temptation, particularly in the area of lust. Even if the person you’re going out with agrees that they won’t have sex with you, they will not be looking to avoid temptation in the same way, and they will not have the power of the Holy Spirit to overcome temptation. Lust is a problem not just of physically messing up, but of mentally dwelling on unhelpful images, and you need to be ruthless in cutting it out of your mind. It is also worth saying that in the Christian life, is something isn’t actively helping you grow in faith and holiness, it is a hindrance. There’s no neutral ground. Even if your girlfriend isn’t pressuring you to go too far, if she isn’t pointing you towards Jesus, she’s holding you back. Hebrews 12:1 says ‘let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.’

FAQ: Surely I can help my non-Christian girlfriend to become a Christian by going out with her?
This is such a disaster zone. The Bible never never advocates this: it is the work of the Holy Spirit alone to convert people, and it’s our job to tell them the good news. You don’t need to be going out with someone to do this! In fact, it actually becomes a hindrance, because you are a better witness for Jesus when you show to someone that you value Him more than any other living being –more than a girl you really like who likes you back. However good your intentions are, that person will always be aware of the fact that you wish they were a Christian. They are not ‘good enough’. And more often than not, going out with a non-Christian makes the Christian get lukewarm and tepid rather than firing up the unbeliever into faith. Even if the unbeliever declares their faith, it is often more to do with their believing partner than with them and God. When someone’s faith is dependent upon a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, this is not a solid foundation and when something goes wrong with the relationship, their faith often does not stand up to the pressure.
If you go out with someone who isn’t a Christian, what do you do when they don’t convert? How long do you wait for this to happen? By then you may be so involved with them that you end up marrying them. In the everyday intimacy of marriage, life becomes extremely difficult if you do not have the same foundation of faith to live by. Put two sinners together and you’re always going to have problems. Two Christians who are married at least have the Holy Spirit to help them through, and have placed their ultimate satisfaction in Jesus rather than each other. This is the greatest basis for a successful marriage.

Why is it important to love Jesus more? (Col 2)

Ever felt taken for granted? Like when the first light-headed months of romance are over, and your boyfriend stops buying you flowers?

We all need to keep our relationships going (whether romantic or just friendship), because we know from experience that as soon as we stop bothering to phone someone up, or do something special for them, that the relationship will suffer. As people, we are constantly moving and changing, and if we don't make the effort to counteract this, our relationships will soon drift apart.

'A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day' -Andre Maurois.

This quote speaks truth! When things start going wrong in a relationship, it's often not because anything is wrong with the people involved, just that they have stopped communicating effectively.

Why should it be any different with Jesus?

He is perfect, He is faithful... but we are imperfect and faithless. We easily drift away from Him, being distracted by other things. It is one thing to come to know Jesus as your Saviour. It is quite another to keep on growing in love for Him and staying faithful to Him all your days. That's the test of true faith- it's not about conversion, it's about finishing the race still wearing the banner!

In Colossians 2, Paul says that 'just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness' (6-7). When you first come to know and love Jesus, this should not become a static or detached emotion, or a remote part of your life. You must CONTINUE to live in Him, growing in faith and love for Him, and growing in thankfulness as you grow in understanding what He has done for you.

'See to it that no-one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ' (8). It is very easy to get a distorted view of Jesus from the messages and opinions that the world gives. If we don't continue to read the Bible and pray and know Jesus for ourselves, wrong ideas can easily get a foothold in our thinking, such as 'Jesus would never condemn anyone', or 'It's not that important that He rose from the dead' or subtle teachings that we can earn our own salvation by being good. But the gospels show a Jesus who is passionate and truthful, uncompromising in telling men that if they do not accept Him they will be condemned (Jn 3:18). The New Testament writers emphasise that if Christ is not risen, then our faith is futile and we are fools (1 Cor 15). And any teaching that says we can earn favour in God's sight through our own endeavours undermines the sacrifice Jesus Christ made for us as a nice but pointless gesture.

'You have been given fulness in Christ' (10) It's all in Him! Our sinful nature was cut off (circumcised) through His death, and we were raised with Him through faith to a new life (11-12). We were dead in sins (13)- there was no way we could please God ourselves- but God made us alive with Christ, forgiving us all our sins (13). The OT law, which condemns all for no one can completely obey it, was nailed to the cross of Jesus, the One who DID completely obey it (14). God silenced the claim of justice against us, all through His Son's willing sacrifice. That helps us love Jesus more, to know that the voice in court demanding our death penalty, has been silenced and satisfied for ever if we appeal to Jesus.

Jesus triumphed over all demonic powers on the cross (15)- we too can triumph over hell by clinging to Him.