Suffering in Ministry: Following Paul's example

The apostle Paul gives us an amazing example of someone who followed Christ faithfully in a ministry that was full of suffering. Although he had the joy of planting churches and pioneering gospel work in places where Christ was not known, he also had the hardship of opposition constantly throughout his ministry. Using the book of Acts and Paul's letters in the New Testament, we can build a detailed picture of what his ministry life was like. It certainly wasn't glamorous or free from pain. He faced jealousy from the Jews, who often rejected him (see Acts 13-14). He dealt with deceit and imprisonment (Acts 16), and also had to fend off the false teaching of fake apostles in places where the church was young and fragile (see his letter to the Galatians).

Before Paul was converted, he sought to imprison Christians and even watched Stephen die as a martyr for his faith (Acts 7). So when he became a believer after a dramatic encounter with Christ (Acts 9), he knew that his life would be endangered. Although Acts ends with Paul continuing with a growing ministry, he was martyred in Rome some time later.

Here's what he wrote about his sufferings in ministry:

'To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. We have become the scum of the earth, the garbage of the world – right up to this moment. I am writing this not to shame you but to warn you as my dear children. Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore I urge you to imitate me. For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church.' (1 Cor 4:11-17)

The scum of the earth! Paul could not have been in ministry for the fame and fortune. Through his suffering he was able to prove his authenticity as an apostle, and when we suffer in ministry, it gives us a similar opportunity to prove how real our faith is to a watching world. Paul urges the Corinthians to imitate him, because his way of life was consistent with his teaching. That's a huge challenge to anyone in ministry! At any point, you should be able to urge your church to imitate you, because you walk the talk. Whether you urge them to or not, they will still be photocopying your lifestyle.

Look at what Paul writes in another letter:

'Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. I have laboured and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak?' (2 Cor 11:24-29)

In all of these pressures on Paul in his ministry, he was made to feel his weakness constantly. But, as he goes on to write, God wants His servants to serve Him in weakness, because then they rely on His strength. Paul writes,

'I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.' (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

When we suffer and we're in ministry, we can't just wish God would take all the pain away so we can 'get on with the job'. Suffering is part of ministry, part of the call, because it's an integral part of following Christ. We have to learn to trust in His grace despite our weakness. I'm challenged by Paul's example, as I see him
☻ constantly in prayer - his weakness driving him to the Lord, not to despair (1 Thess 5:16-18)
☻ taking joy in the gospel - seeing it bear fruit despite his personal suffering (Col 1:6)
☻ rejoicing in the finished work of Christ - knowing his salvation didn't depend on his ministry efforts (Phil 3:7-12)
☻ trusting that Christ is coming - the day of suffering will come to an end (1 Thess 3:13)
☻ persevering in preaching, teaching and discipling - passing on the baton (2 Tim 1:13-14)
☻ praising God's wisdom - understanding that we don't always understand God's ways (Rom 11:33-36)

Let's imitate Paul as he imitates Christ, and call on those around us to do so too.

The necessity of forgiveness # 1: 1 Corinthians love

I've met a lot of people with estrangements in their family, a relative they haven't spoken to for years. Some almost seem proud of it. And I'm no stranger to having that kind of situation. My parents divorced when I was a toddler and since he remarried, I've hardly seen my Dad despite him living a short drive away. It's a situation with a lot of hurt. But time and again, when I've been tempted to stop bothering to send cards for birthdays and Christmas or other occasions, when I've been tempted to be indifferent and stop caring, God has done something to show me that I have to keep loving, and keep forgiving.

For many years I have prayed about being able to forgive my Dad. And there's times when I feel it's fine; I do forgive him. But there's also times when the deep, deep hurt is dragged up again. It still makes me cry. And I think, have I really forgiven? I have to keep taking it back to God, to my heavenly Father, again and again.

I was struck by an article on Revive our Hearts today about this very issue. The speaker had a similarly estranged relationship with her father. He didn't ask her for forgiveness, but she knew she had to forgive him anyway. She mentioned 1 Corinthians 13: love 'keeps no record of wrongs... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.' (NIV) In the ESV it says 'Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.' (v7) To show the kind of love God has shown us towards others will require this kind of faith and perseverance, even with people who have deeply hurt us and are difficult to love. Whenever I think I may as well give up on my relationship with my Dad, this verse encourages me to keep going, to keep loving, because this will glorify my heavenly Father. As Ney Bailey says, 'we're most like Christ when we're forgiving.'

Ultimately I have to get the right perspective. Too often I feel it is my 'right' to have a certain kind of earthly father; the reality is that I have a heavenly One who is perfect. No one has a perfect earthly dad. And I have been very blessed in that my step-dad has always been a father to me; his family have always loved me and accepted me; God has more than compensated for this one breached relationship in my family by providing me with so many other loving people in my life. And I have to have faith when I pray for my Dad that God can still save him and still restore our relationship; He is the God of reconciliation.

Leviticus: the necessity of holiness

It seems to me that Leviticus is one of the most neglected books of the Bible. It's easy to understand why: it starts with seven chapters about different types of offerings, then talks about the priesthood of Aaron, then gives loads of laws which seem fairly obscure. A lot of them aren't applicable for Christians today; they have been fulfilled in Jesus' death and resurrection. We don't have a levitical priesthood anymore, nor do we offer sacrifices, because Jesus is our great High Priest and His sacrifice was offered once for all (see Hebrews 10). But it does bug me that Leviticus gets written off, especially the moral laws, because so many of the principles in those laws still stand today. Where did Jesus get 'you shall love your neighbour as yourself' from (see Matt 22:39)? Leviticus 19:18.

The key thing to remember when reading Leviticus is that at the heart of the book is the holiness of God and how God's people are to reflect that holiness. This principal is very relevant for Christians today; after all, God doesn't change. He is still holy. He still requires holiness from His people. That's one of the main ways Leviticus is used in the New Testament. Peter quotes it in his letter:

'As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”' (1 Pet 1:14-16)

Peter is quoting from Leviticus 11:44 and Leviticus 19:2.

In some ways, the ways in which people demonstrate holiness have changed. In Leviticus there were laws which gave a symbolic representation of holiness and by following them, God's people would be separate from other nations. We don't have these symbolic ritual laws anymore, like purification rites (Lev 12), not eating certain animals (Lev 11, see also Acts 10) and circumcision (Lev 12:8). It's the moral perspective of Leviticus which strikes me the most: be holy in your sexuality or die (Lev 20:10-16), be holy in your words about God or die (Lev 24:10-23), be holy in your worship or die (Lev 10:1-20). Why did God judge people so harshly for breaking laws in the Old Testament? Because in their disobedience, they revealed that they really cared little for Him. Holiness is a key test of our devotion to the LORD, and the New Testament continues this same perspective:

'Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practise homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.' 1 Cor 6:9-11.

From a New Testament perspective then, being born again is the beginning of a journey to holiness. Before we came to Christ, there was no way we could be holy. We were lost in sin. But once He saved us, He gave us His Spirit and, through His Spirit, the power to say 'no' to our flesh.

'His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.' 2 Peter 1:3-8

There's this amazing harmony in these verses of God's power in us and our own effort working together to make us holy. It's not salvation by works; it's spiritual growth, and this doesn't happen if we just sit around and fail to exercise our faith in action, or spiritual disciplines like prayer, reading the Word, helping the needy. The New Testament doesn't promise us perfection in this life; it tells us this will be a battle and a struggle which we need spiritual weapons to fight (Eph 6). But there is a sense that we will increase in practical holiness as we grow in spiritual maturity and as our passion for God takes over more and more of our hearts, souls and minds.

Our fight against sin will be most effective when we are fixing our eyes on Jesus, and exposing our sin to others with confession and prayer so that it loses its power and grip on our lives. The devil wants you to wallow in secret sin and doubt your salvation and the efficacy of Christ's redemption; the Spirit wants to convict you of sin so that you see it for what it really is, and see victory over it through Jesus' blood shed for you on the cross.

'Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.' 2 Cor 7:1

'Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.' 1 John 3:2-3

Lessons from Numbers- the danger of rebellion (part 4)

One of the reasons I find reading Numbers so difficult is not so much the chapters which record lists of names and genealogies, but that it focuses on several acts of rebellion on a micro and macro level - rebellion by one or two individuals, or by the whole of Israel - and all of them are judged swiftly by the LORD. Miriam is given leprosy. The sabbath-breaker, at God's command, is stoned to death (ch 15). Moses is told he will never enter the promised land because he didn't follow God's instructions to speak to the rock, not strike it (ch 20). Phinehas is commended by the LORD for spearing an Israelite and his pagan woman (ch 25). And Korah, Dathan, Abbiram along with their families and followers are swallowed up by the earth in an act of devastating judgement from the LORD. (ch 16)

It all seems so harsh; so sudden; so irrevocable. What happened to grace? I'm sure this is one of points where people say 'Look, the God of the Old Testament is just full of judgement. The God of the New Testament if one of love. The Bible contradicts itself!' Or at least, maybe some Christians feel that as we're under grace not law, thankfully these kinds of things don't happen anymore and don't apply to us.

But that viewpoint is not taken by the New Testament writers. In fact, they are hugely influenced by the book of Numbers. Look at what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:

'For I do not want you to be unaware, brothers,a that our fathers were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea, and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, and all ate the same spiritual food, and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank from the spiritual Rock that followed them, and the Rock was Christ. Nevertheless, with most of them God was not pleased, for they were overthrown in the wilderness.
Now these things took place as examples for us, that we might not desire evil as they did. Do not be idolaters as some of them were; as it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play.” We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day. We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.'

Paul says that Christ Himself was with Israel all those years in the wilderness! This isn't a case of Jesus coming in the New Testament and suddenly it's all about love. Moreover, Paul sees these accounts as 'examples for us'. Numbers warns readers not to make the same mistakes as Israel, of taking God's commands lightly, forgetting His goodness, hankering after the past and coveting what you do not have. It links all these sins to the heart issue: unbelief. This is still relevant for us today. Whenever we fail to believe God's promises; whenever we choose the pleasures of sin above obedience; whenever we question God's appointed leaders and their authority, we run the risk of behaving in exactly the same way as Israel, and 'with most of them God was not pleased... and were destroyed.'

Hebrews is another epistle very influenced by Numbers, and very focused on warning God's people not to harden their hearts, let sin deceive them, and walk away from the truth.

'For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt. For land that has drunk the rain that often falls on it, and produces a crop useful to those for whose sake it is cultivated, receives a blessing from God. But if it bears thorns and thistles, it is worthless and near to being cursed, and its end is to be burned.' (Heb 6:4-8)

In Numbers, there is no atonement for apostasy. Those who knowingly reject God's covenant promise are disinherited and destroyed. Their unbelief led to disobedience and treating God with contempt. There was no way to undo their sin. They could never enter the land; they died outside the land of promise. The writer of Hebrews similarly gives a stern warning to believers because if they commit apostasy (entering a covenant with God then rejecting Him; this may be done consciously or through persistent, deliberate unrepentant sin), they cut themselves off from Christ, the only sacrifice for sins under the new covenant. As the New Bible Commentary states:

'Nothing is impossible for God, but He offers us no hope of reclaiming those who take a continuous and hard hearted stand against Christ. Those who harden their hearts may reach a point where they are hardened beyond recall.'

The message of Numbers is that none of us can ever get complacent about our relationship with God, and that is supported by the New Testament as well. We are responsible for diligently making our call and election sure (2 Peter 1:10), knowing that if we are still standing at the end, it's because of God's phenomenal grace to us. We can't stay faithful without His enabling, so knowing our own human capacity for weakness and disobedience, we should throw ourselves upon His mercy and grace daily in prayer and ask Him to keep us faithful to the end.

Sex before marriage: what does the Bible say?

Some people think that the Bible doesn't say much about sex. Other people think the Bible is really negative about sex. I was asked by a Christian friend recently how I would go about explaining what the Bible says about sex before marriage to someone who is a Christian and sleeping with their boyfriend or girlfriend. This post is really my response to that question.

Summary:
God has such a high value on sex that He designed it to be just for marriage.

The argument starts in Genesis. God makes Adam and Eve, marries them, and they enjoy sex as an expression of their unity: 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.' Gen 2:24 The implication is that you can't become one flesh physically (ie in sexual intercourse) without first being joined before God in marriage. This makes sense in that sex is a picture of giving yourselves completely to one another- this just isn't appropriate outside the safety net of marriage, where you have made a lifelong commitment to each other.

The high value God places on sex within marriage is emphasised throughout the Old Testament- most notably in the command against adultery (Ex 20:14). If you engage in pre-marital sex, you are in one sense being unfaithful to your future spouse. If the person ends up being someone you marry, you have still spoilt something special and unique meant for marriage only.

There are people in the Old Testament who disregard God's design for sex and marriage, and the result is always spiritual disaster. Look at Solomon: he had a ridiculous number of concubines (300!), and they had a terrible influence on him. He also married 700 women, and they 'turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God' (1 Kings 11:4). Solomon had built the temple and was gifted with wisdom from God, and yet in this matter he was blind to the warnings he was given, and so his kingdom was torn away from him (1 Kings 11:11). This ties into the idea that Christians going out with/marrying non Christians is spiritually damaging, because you are essentially uniting yourself with someone who is spiritually dead (see Ephesians 2 for the strong contrast between Christians and non-Christians, and 2 Cor 6 for instruction on not being 'yoked' with unbelievers).

The New Testament letters speak a lot about sexual purity. There are several key passages where 'fornication' (ie sex before marriage) is condemned (1 Cor 6:12- 7:40; Eph 5:1-7; 1 Thess 4:1-8), and in Hebrews 13:4 it says that the marriage bed should be kept pure, for God will judge the sexually immoral. The key emphasis in all these passages is that we've been saved by God's grace and set free from the crippling, disabling power of sin over our lives. Therefore our whole lives as Christians are about using that power to resist sin and live 100% for Jesus instead of being ruled by passion just like non-believers are.

When people have problems with what the Bible teaches on sex, it actually points to a bigger problem: their attitude towards God. Too often we are driven by our own desires for a relationship or physical intimacy, instead of putting God's agenda at the top of our priorities. If you're a Christian and you know another Christian who is struggling in this area, encourage them to draw closer to God. If you can, suggest meeting up together to read the Bible. Working through a short letter like 1 Thessalonians would only take a few sessions, and all you'd have to do is read it and discuss it. If they're really serious about being a Christian, they have to accept that it intrinsically means giving up what you want, and going God's way instead. And the joy of being a Christian is that God's way is so much better!!! As Paul writes, those things (sexual immorality included) lead to death. Why would we want to go back to them? (Romans 6:21)

Ultimately, we need to realise that God loves us far more than we comprehend. He loved us enough to send Jesus to die for us. Won't He give us anything that's good for us? Would He with hold the best from us? Of course not. (see Romans 8).

Therefore the Bible's teaching on sex and marriage is there to help us. God is FOR sex (he invented it!!!) and He has such a high value on it that he reserves it for those who are married. People who sleep with others before marriage are de-valuing sex. God's way is best because it preserves society and the family unit- look at the result of people sleeping together outside marriage: STDs, AIDS, broken homes, kids without fathers... And I hate to say it, but usually the girl in the relationship is the one with everything to lose and nothing to gain. A guy can sleep with someone and walk away; the girl ends up way more emotionally scarred and potentially with a baby to look after.

I think if a guy really loves you, he'd be willing to wait : Christian OR non Christian. But the real sticking point about Christians going out with non Christians is that they can't be a gospel team, working together to serve Jesus. One serves Jesus; the other belongs basically to the devil and is spiritually dead. I think one of the greatest blessings of Christian marriage is that you keep each other going with Jesus, pick each other up when you're down, lead each other back to the cross. However attracted you are to each other, it's the spiritual bond you share that will keep you going in the tough times.

Worship #4

Why do you think the writers of the New Testament generally avoid using the terminology of worship to describe what Christians do when they gather together?

At the heart of the matter, the New Testament writers want to show that worship is all of life, not just in one place or at one time. It is no longer something connected with set feasts or set places or set priests. It is for all the people of God at all times and places (Carson).

Mark Strom writes: 'The temple, priesthood, sacrifices and kingship could no longer serve as Israel's focal point. At best, they had been symbols of great truths about the Lord and His ways; at worst, they had distracted the people's attention from the One who stood behind the symbols. But now, in Jesus, the perfection, reality and person behind the symbols had appeared'.

Jesus replaced the set place (the temple) and the set priests with Himself- He became the sacrifice and the sacrifice-offerer. He became the way which humans can approach God. And after His ascension He sent the Holy Spirit to dwell in all those who call on His Name. In this way all Christians become a temple (1 Cor 3:16).

Therefore, for the NT writers to refer to Christian gatherings as worship would perhaps mislead people, particularly those of a Jewish background, to believe that the way we approach God is through ritual and only in a certain place at a certain time. In another sense, that approach to worship fails to recognise that true worship manifests itself in all of our living, 24/7. As Carson points out, we worship in both adoration and action.

'Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise- the fruit of lips that confess His Name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.' Heb 13:15-16

Therefore, the NT writers use the word 'ekklesia' for church, which 'inherited the meaning of Israel's great assemblies without any of the "religious" connotations of worship, priests or rituals. The churches were simply God's people meeting together in homes to encourage each other in the gospel... Thus the word was tailor-made for conveying the simplicity and people-centredness which the New Testament wanted to emphasise.' (Strom)

'Ekklesia' could be translated as 'a regular assembly of citizens' (Banks) and in this way, Paul looked forward to a great assembly at the Lord's return (1 Thess 4:15-17) and wrote that all Christians are citizens of heaven (Phil 3:19-20).

Banks writes that 'each of the various local churches are tangible expressions of the heavenly church, manifestations in time and space of that which is essentially eternal and infinite in character.'

'Ekklesia' comprehensively encapsulates several key concepts about the Christian church:
1. It is a universal fraterntiy (voluntary association)
2. It is a place like a household unit where personal identity and intimacy can be found
3. It provides both community and immortality (Strom)

This is why the images for the church used in the New Testament (Body, Household, Building) moved away from traditional terminology (which had strong cultic connotations) and emphasised the church as God's people meeting together as a family, united in Christ.

Helping Christians who are married to non-Christians

Recently I posted a series of articles on Christian attitudes to dating and relationships, including the principle that Christians should not go out with, or marry, a non-Christian.

But what happens if you become a Christian AFTER marriage? Or what if you DID marry a non-Christian? Perhaps you know a Christian who is married to a non-believer. What help can you give?

Well I'd like to recommend John Dickson's 'Promoting the Gospel'. I found this book, which covers evangelism in all areas of life, particularly enlightening on the subject of mixed faith marriages. He looks at 1 Peter 3:1-2:
'Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.'

This is what he says:
'Peter plainly says that people can be won to Christianity through behaviour. Am I saying that faith in Christ can come about without hearing the gospel? No... people cannot put their faith in Jesus without first learning the gospel about him. However, this does not mean that hearing the gospel is the only cause of faith...
Peter's words in 1 Peter 3:1-2 are not intended as a "let-off" for those who are shy about Christ, but as an encouragement to those who find themselves in situations in which speaking about the Faith is difficult or inappropriate. The marriage relationship (the specific context of Peter's words) is a classic example...
[Be reassured that] the Lord of the harvest can win over our loved ones without a word (from you) by the power of a godly life.' (p100-101)

In other words, if your spouse is not a Christian, you need to:
1. Pray for them to be saved.
2. Continue as a Christian yourself- keep going to church and join a small group, or find a Christian friend of the same sex as you who you can meet up with for prayer and support. Don't struggle alone- get help! Finding someone else in the same situation could be really helpful for both of you (again same sex as you applies).
3. Live a God-honouring life before them, to point them towards Jesus.
4. Share the gospel with them when the opportunity arises, in a gentle and respectful way.
5. Don't nag them!
6. Guard yourself against lust and jealousy for Christian marriages in your church. Pray against discontentment. God has put you in this situation for a reason, to teach you new things, and He is in control. He works everything for the good of those who love Him, so trust that He knows what He's doing (Rom 8:28).

1 Corinthians 7 is really relevant to this situation:
'If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him.'

In Corinth, people were becoming Christians, and then divorcing their unbelieving spouses. Paul says this is wrong! God is a God of faithfulness, who hates divorce. That is never what He wants you to do. Instead, God 'sanctifies' the unbelieving spouse- in other words, God makes special provision for His children who are married to unbelievers. He does not automatically convert the spouse, but He blesses the children of a mixed faith marriage.

Of course, this passage is not a justification for Christians, who have the choice of who they marry, to marry non-Christians. The question 'how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?' is a verse of encouragement to those in a very difficult situation, not a mandate to enter this situation. Paul makes it clear in this very chapter that if a Christian has the choice of whom they marry, they should definitely marry another Christian (v39). The whole point about retaining the place in life to which God has called you simply means that you can't get out of your marriage bond when you become a Christian.

Being a Christian married to a non-Christian is very tough, and no Christian should ever willingly choose this situation. But, as I can testify from witnessing it with my own eyes, God can certainly bring much blessing to those who seek to remain faithful to Him within a mixed faith marriage. The church needs to be particularly pro-active in supporting these marriages, particularly the Christian spouse, who can easily become isolated. Churches also need to be aware that a Christian married to a non-Christian will have to be sensitive to the needs of their spouse, which may mean a reduced involvement in serving in church life. If you are a Christian who is supporting a friend in a mixed faith marriage, or you are in a mixed faith marriage, keep praying for God to give you wisdom. I'd very much appreciate any comments you can make to share from your own experiences. May the Lord bless you!

Christians and non-Christians: NOT a match made in heaven

Relationships are funny things. They can dominate our thoughts and desires, they can bring us joy and companionship, they can destroy us. The quest for 'true love' for the Christian can be a bit of a minefield, with lots of casualties if wrong choices are made.

It's easy to feel that the Bible is very out-of-date on the whole issue of relationships, given that in Bible times, arranged marriage was the norm. Whilst arranged marriages are still happening today, mostly in Western culture we go about finding ourselves a spouse very differently. The 'dating game'.

How should Christians approach relationships? My main point for this post is:
Christians should desire to glorify God in their romantic relationships.

This may involve pain and heartache, it may mean walking away from someone you really care about. But the Bible makes one thing clear:
A Christian should not marry a non-Christian.

‘A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.’ 1 Corinthians 7:39

Paul in this chapter of Corinthians deals with some tricky marital situations. What do you do if you’re married, then you become a Christian? Paul says you should stay married. But if, as these verses show, that unbelieving spouse dies, the widow is free to marry, but this time it must be a Christian.

This principle therefore applies to all Christians who have a choice about who they marry (ie. They aren’t already married). It is wrong for a Christian to choose to marry a non-Christian.

Following logically on from this, it makes sense then that Christians should not go out with non-believers. You don’t just get married in our culture, you go out with someone first. If you want your spouse to be a Christian, then you need to make sure any potential spouse (ie. Girlfriend or boyfriend) is a Christian.

Why is this important?

1.Christians and non-Christians are fundamentally different.
The reason God says Christians and non-Christians should not marry is because marriage makes two people ‘one flesh’ (Genesis 2:24). A Christian is a new creation in Jesus Christ, and a non-Christian is still dead in their sins (see Ephesians 2 and Colossians 2). That doesn’t make for a good combination! 2 Corinthians 6:14 says “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” In a relationship, whether you get married or not, you are saying ‘I want to be closer to this person than to my friends and family. I want to spend time with them, sharing who I am with them.’ That makes you vulnerable, as my next point discusses.

2.Christians are fighting a constant battle against sin.
There are many temptations in life (pride, selfishness, greed) which Christians have to constantly fight against. We’re in spiritual warfare (see Ephesians 6)! Therefore if you’re sharing your life intimately with someone, it needs to be someone who’s going to help you in that battle. Someone who will pray with you and for you to be the person God wants you to be. Someone who shares your faith and values. Someone who won’t be an added temptation, particularly in the area of lust. Even if the person you’re going out with agrees that they won’t have sex with you, they will not be looking to avoid temptation in the same way, and they will not have the power of the Holy Spirit to overcome temptation. Lust is a problem not just of physically messing up, but of mentally dwelling on unhelpful images, and you need to be ruthless in cutting it out of your mind. It is also worth saying that in the Christian life, is something isn’t actively helping you grow in faith and holiness, it is a hindrance. There’s no neutral ground. Even if your girlfriend isn’t pressuring you to go too far, if she isn’t pointing you towards Jesus, she’s holding you back. Hebrews 12:1 says ‘let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.’

FAQ: Surely I can help my non-Christian girlfriend to become a Christian by going out with her?
This is such a disaster zone. The Bible never never advocates this: it is the work of the Holy Spirit alone to convert people, and it’s our job to tell them the good news. You don’t need to be going out with someone to do this! In fact, it actually becomes a hindrance, because you are a better witness for Jesus when you show to someone that you value Him more than any other living being –more than a girl you really like who likes you back. However good your intentions are, that person will always be aware of the fact that you wish they were a Christian. They are not ‘good enough’. And more often than not, going out with a non-Christian makes the Christian get lukewarm and tepid rather than firing up the unbeliever into faith. Even if the unbeliever declares their faith, it is often more to do with their believing partner than with them and God. When someone’s faith is dependent upon a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, this is not a solid foundation and when something goes wrong with the relationship, their faith often does not stand up to the pressure.
If you go out with someone who isn’t a Christian, what do you do when they don’t convert? How long do you wait for this to happen? By then you may be so involved with them that you end up marrying them. In the everyday intimacy of marriage, life becomes extremely difficult if you do not have the same foundation of faith to live by. Put two sinners together and you’re always going to have problems. Two Christians who are married at least have the Holy Spirit to help them through, and have placed their ultimate satisfaction in Jesus rather than each other. This is the greatest basis for a successful marriage.